1. Qilins are strict vegetarians, so [no feeding her meat dishes](https://imgur.com/H2QZewM). She also has a sensitive stomach, no spicy dishes! (looking at you, damage-per-screenshot people.)
2. She has 2 horns, and 3 hair "horns" (1 on the left, 2 on the right), both types point in the same direction.
3. On top of horns, she has ears as well.
4. When walking, her ponytail sways left and right, her side bangs flap and her ahoge (the little hair sticking out from the top) bounces. It's cute. I suggest paying attention to her hair animation, it's veeeerrrrry calming.
5. In her 3rd NA, she shoots with her eyes closed. She's just that good.
6. Her dress is asymmetrical. Now you can't unsee this.
7. Long time players should know by now that characters will tilt their head to see certain people, animals or objects. Ganyu tilting her head randomly to see little animals is one of the cutest things. Ever.
8. Her dress is bareback, and the best way to appreciate it is while gliding. You're welcome.
9. During the Archon war, a giant monster once choked to death when it tried to eat Ganyu (Character Story 5). Her being thicc is not an opinion, it's a fact :)
10. She used to [blush](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9681sKuNcE&ab_channel=Cocogod) if you switch tabs in character profile during mid animation. Idk y dafuq they removed it alksdjobuwqinsadqwoeihbjva.
11. Her bell will chime when you're walking etc. If you can't hear it, try playing with headphones on.
12. Qilins don't hurt unless necessary. Timmie's pigeons deserve it tho so go ahead.
13. Did I mention that she's [fucking cute](https://imgur.com/3iGIznS)? I think I didn't.
14. Qilins are benevolent and gentle, which means if you dislike Ganyu and call her boring, she won't hate you for that. She will return hate with kindness, but she'll definitely be [sad](https://imgur.com/AMg4mVR) tho.
15. In [Ganyu's EP](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-X8xqzBmjT8&ab_channel=GenshinImpact), the third song was translated as "Adeptus' Retirement", but the original name for the song is " 偷闲浮生". It can mean a). being able to have some free time in her ever-busy life, but can also mean b). being free from her struggles (of her identity). Her travelling to and fro the city and the adeptus' places was a nice touch on top of that.
16. My favorite quote from her is from "About Ningguang". "It is always simpler to criticize than to tolerate." (peeks at Ganyu haters) Ganyu is love, Ganyu is life.
17. She's kind, but awkward. Unwavering, but reserved. Capable, but occasionally [ditzy](https://imgur.com/FYqTKPT). Serious, in both work and about food. And oh did I tell you? She's absofuckinglutely beautiful. And cute.

No tips for combat, but if you're interested, [Aliss](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzIbU29e6aS4O23eKZQjLoQ) can show you what peak Ganyu teams are like.

**TL;DR Ganyu is cute. Too damn cute.**

Bonus: [Link to my secret Ganyu stash](https://imgur.com/a/fqAqJ7B), please do share yours if you have too! <3

So basically, the characters are amogus, and are playing red light green light from the hit show Squid Game.

Super anime dude Goku (a totes rad 😎dude) teleports to the end. He hits a little twerk for the homies to admire (no homo doe amirite kids 😳) but the gang is totally not pushing 🅿️ in response. The flash tries to run, but breaks his tiggly toez in the process 💀. He getz shot bcus he totes fell. Next up our boi Capitain America trips all 😭 over, but the chad wolverine saves him o yea 👍🥰. Then Robin slippidy slips on dat flash blood yo (totes funny amirite 😂😂😂😂😂) he trips and diez. After that the bird attempts to fard 💩 on Capitain America, but he flips and awesomely deflects the bullet onto Black Panther so dat iz cool.

He then finishes with his homie Wolverine (again no homo kids 😳)

I collect all types of porn, more so other proper porn than this onlyfans type stuff. Nothing simp about having a collection of your favourite studios etc. I'm a porn addict, Idgaf about the actresses etc. When you get older you may start to feel this too, but you begin to want to hold onto the past. Many times I go, 'oh what was that one scene I like, that will really help finish off this wank' and guess what I have it saved, thank fuck, because all the porn you love will be gone. I have over 16 terabytes of storage on my pc, what else am i going to do with it?

Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

&#x200B;

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.."

It's tits. It's always fucking tits.

This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something?

"I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants."

I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.

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Yeah... Eternal twilight and ice right? Feast of the wolves, sea people, abzu, raphaim, necromancy etc etc cuz ya know when ya have near ultimate power why not use it to oppress abunch of simpleton meat sack idiots that taste like salty shit... I don't understand why the gods are in the least interested in humankind. You could engineer better sex slaves that look and taste way better and since none of them even have a soul anymore, it's really no different. If I was a god king I'd be using nanobots to disassemble the entire cosmos and create a giant matroska world where all sentient beings can live in relative peace but every few generations come together for a massive war to entertain the blood God since he's super bored apparently. I don't understand how the Gods can be more human than humans sometimes... You'd think they'd be off in some transcendental state of perfect stillness but apparently it's all about blood n hoes with the Gods... I must be retarded because I don't understand why this is happening...

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.

Pretty much the title, i was giving my FwB a bj and for a reason i cant remember why i took my phone and instantly unlocked with the facial reconigtion WHEN I WAS WITH A WHOLE DICK IN MY MOUTH. We laughted it off and didnt stop. A few hours later we were having a beer and i had to use my phone and it took a few attempts to unlock with the same facial recognition.
This time it was akward as hell lol

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover, and my penis was missing again.This happens all the time. It's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out, when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember what I did with it.

First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it. So I called up the place where the party was, They hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes but not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, But they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.

After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast. Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to buy it off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.

I took it home, washed it off, And put it back on. I was happy again. Complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, But I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis.

Connection terminated.

I'm sorry to interrupt you, CryptoFan420, if you still even remember that name, But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a bitcoin, nor have you been called here by the GPU seller you assume, although, you have indeed been called.

You have all been called here, into a labyrinth of NFTs and cryptocurrency, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for money has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of gamers in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach, but you will never find them. None of you will. This is where your story ends.

And to you, my brave gamer, who somehow found this GPU listing not intended for you, although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby.

This chip shortage will not be remembered, and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you crypto-miners trapped in the corridors, be still and give up your GPUs. They don't belong to you.

For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for the scalpers, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the devil waiting, old friend.

My GTX 1050ti, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the average gamer. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were out of stock and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms the way you lifted others into yours, and then, what became of you. I should have known you wouldn't be content to disappear, not my GPU. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest - for you, and for those you have carried in your arms.

This ends for all of us.

End communication.

Yes, this memory I will tell is an event that happened to me when I was at the end of high school. Anyway, let me tell you, I was back from school in the evening, I was craving something sweet. I was going to buy biscuits, chocolate or something. I went to the grocery store and while I was looking at the shelves, my eyes went to a different shaped chocolate that I had never seen before. I was wondering what this is I asked the grocer, "What's this?" The grocer said let it go. I couldn't understand it at first, but when I read the content, of course, I dig something. Topic says writing woman inflaming chocolate. I stopped for a while and I started to have different plans in my mind. I was going to distribute this chocolate to the whole class. I immediately asked for one bag from the man, I bought 25-30 pieces and put them in the bag, of course, the price was more expensive than regular chocolate. With the money my mother gave me at that time to use on her bus card, I bought some inflaming chocolate for 10 $. They were medium-sized rectangular chocolates in shape, not too big, but it seemed to have a great effect. Okay, brother, I said take it easy, I left the grocery store, the man was smiling in different ways, I didn't find it strange at all, it was not normal for a man my age to buy 25-30 chocolates. Anyway, I came home from the grocery store, I had to find a place to hide the chocolates at home. Now, if I don't put them in my fridge, they would melt, so I went and put them somewhere in the upper corner of the fridge. It was supposed to handle me until tomorrow, I was going to put it in my bag and go to school tomorrow morning, but there was a problem. As I said at the very beginning of the box of chocolates, it said "lady hot chocolate". The class shouldn't have known this, so I went and bought one of the chocolate packages that I threw in the corner at home and placed them there so that they would think it was normal chocolate and eat it. Anyway, I took care of it and threw it back in the fridge, now it should not be noticed for 1 day. There was nothing I could do now but wait. I went to sleep immediately, I was tired, I was looking forward to tomorrow, on the one hand.

&#x200B;

It was the morning, my parents left the house to go to work, I woke up with the annoying sound of the alarm, I immediately ran to the refrigerator in a hurry. I looked, my chocolates were intact, no one noticed, I sighed, I felt a little relieved, I took and put them in the bag, I got ready, I left the house at that time, I thought of returning home from such a stupid idea, but now it was too late, I paid that much money for these chocolates, I couldn't throw them away. I jumped on the bus, came to school, there was little money left on the card, and the money I was going to load on the card had gone to the chocolates anyway. But I didn't have time to think about it now because I came to school. I was still undecided whether to do such a thing or not, but now we've come to school, I said to myself, fuck you, I won't go back. Anyway, I entered the class and greeted my friends normally, as usual, I didn't get excited or make any strange moves. After 10-15 minutes, the teacher came to the class, the teacher was also a woman, anyway, the lesson started, I was thinking about how to distribute the chocolates. I thought to myself that I would take permission from the teacher and distribute it in 2 minutes. I was pretending to listen to the lecture, then I raised my hand and said, with your permission, teacher, can I these chocolates to my friends? The teacher was also strange, what did he say? I also felt like I bought chocolate for my friends and the teacher said ok then you can give them, I immediately distributed it in 1-2 minutes, lastly my teacher said take it and gave it to the teacher everything was going well, no one had any doubts. I was slowly starting to feel fear, I didn't even have the slightest idea what to do or what would happen. I was sitting on my seat, slowly opening the package of chocolate in a stressful way, the smell was also strange, but no one made a sound, everything was going like normal until the chocolate started to take effect. This chocolate was taking effect in about 15-20 minutes, so the show would start soon. I couldn't go back now even if I wanted to. Everyone ate the chocolate, including the teacher. These 15 minutes went like 15 hours for me, I was saying it should be over, I regretted what I did even though nothing had happened to me yet. Fortunately, at that time one of the girls started coughing or something. Because this chocolate was only effective on women. The girls were starting to get a little queasy. They said it was very hot inside, I went and opened the windows and stuff. As time progressed, things were getting worse, the girls' looks had officially changed. 2-3 of them said that they were not well and that they wanted to go to the toilet. By the way, the teacher started to get worse. As a feature of this chocolate, it also raises body temperature. At that time, I didn't know what to do and wanted to go to the toilet, I didn't want to be seen around. No one could understand what was going on, everyone was looking at each other and trying to understand what was going on. While I was leaving the classroom, 2-3 more girls came out with me. At that time, I started to feel like a dick. I was breaking the sweat of death, I can't tell you really. Anyway, I opened the door of the toilet, I just entered, I was going to close the door, I said no, okay, one of the girls is holding the door and looking right at me, I said no, what happened, she didn't say anything, she immediately went in, closed the door, and locked it. "I know what you're doing," he said quietly. I said OK, John. if they understand now, I said to myself, you're done. And after a short silence, the girl said, "I'm so bad, I'm going crazy with anger," and she made a move that I will never forget. She pulled down my pants with a sudden movement. She started to take my dick in her mouth. I was crazy trying to make sense of what was going on. While I was sweating out of stress, a girl was giving me a sloppy blowjob. Since the topic is not a sex story, I don't want to go into details, but guys, you have to feel that moment, so I can't tell you what a pleasure it is. The girl spat at him randomly a few times, then back and forth many times. She was kissing his head or something from time to time, I was having a very strange temper, I felt like I was going to fly out of pleasure. I was both stressed and maybe having the most enjoyable moment of my life. Normally I'm not someone who ejaculates early, it takes a long time, but at that time it took about 5 minutes with stress, and at the end, I ejaculated on his face or something. I wasn't even aware of what I was doing. When our magazine was empty, the girl got up, washed her face, and left without saying anything. In the meantime, I started to think about what I was going through for 15-20 seconds, I couldn't understand what was going on, but the real event was going to start after it happened. I washed my hands and face and came out of the toilet. I looked in the hallway and our classroom, and what I saw were the girls in our class were making strange noises and sitting on the floor, sick. I think everyone understood what was going on and I don't know why the teacher was not in the class at that time. The boys were laughing amongst themselves. The girls also understood that I was doing something, but they couldn't say anything because they were not sure, they were just looking at me in an angry and horny way, the girl who gave me a blowjob was not there. Then, all of a sudden, the teacher came to the classroom, they called an ambulance or something. By the way, one of the girls passed out. Anyway, I don't know if the teacher saw it in that panic, I jumped out of the classroom. I went to the bus stop, waited for 5 minutes, jumped on the bus, and came home. Nobody was home because I came home early. I entered my room, locked my door, I started swearing at myself, I regretted what I had done, but there was nothing to do anymore. I fell asleep right away because I didn't want to think about anything. I woke up in the morning to my father's shout. He was saying, "Get up, how many hours have you been in bed, maybe 17-18 hours, I've been sleeping nonstop, I got up, there was still 1-2 hours before I left the house, my mother and father had no idea what happened." At that moment, it was such a moment that I wished that even if the place was open for me, I would go to the bottom of it. Anyway, I sat for 2 hours, I had to do something to distract my mind, I went right in front of the computer and searched for gay porn and started watching the first things that came my way. 2 hours passed in the blink of an eye for me. I immediately left the house, jumped out of the house again, I was going to go crazy if you knew what went through my mind until I got to school. When I went I did not know what a view would greet me. I picked up the phone again and thought I'd look at porn or something (I like to watch it when I'm angry or stressed) I immediately went to a random site and a video called "blonde milf on the roof" greeted me and I started watching it for about half an hour, I was already sitting in the back of the bus. So nobody saw it. Anyway, I arrived at school, my heart is trembling. I slowly climbed the stairs, entered the classroom, and the principal was waiting for me in the classroom, everyone else was in the classroom, and now everyone clearly understood what I was doing. "You've been kicked out," the manager shouted in a stern voice. I was disgraced, I came back before I could even sit down in the classroom, I started crying because of my anger. I went home immediately, my parents called me and they learned the situation. My father was cursing loudly on the phone, yes I deserved it, there was nothing to do, I went home and cried and cried. In the evening, I heard thousand of tons of scolding at home, there was a fight at home for almost 2 weeks. Two weeks later, I moved to a different school. Anyway, what happened guys, but at that time, my only income was that girl giving me a blowjob. It was definitely an unforgettable experience for me, yes this is such a moment. Also, ladies who want to re-live this blowjob experience (without stress) can text me via dm.

If I was this guy, I would keep my hand on his wrist to prevent him from using the knife. I would then suddenly turn, causing his whole body to follow my movement.

Now that he's turned his back to me, I would violently hit the arm that is holding the knife, causing it to fall to the ground. I would then kick the weapon away to prevent the attacker from reaching it again.

Finally, I would pull his hand, causing his whole body to turn towards me. I would rapidly approach him, asserting dominance by smirkingly looking at his face to make him lose his last drop of confidence.

Then I would grap his other arm and push it behind my back to force him coming even closer to me. With a rapid hand movement, I would play some tango music on my phone and make him dance with me.

After this dance, he would ask to marry me. I would deny and say "You will marry me, not the other way round" to further assert dominance.

We would marry, adopt kids, et cetera.

Then I would fucking stab him because I never forget what the McDojo teached me.

Obama bing chilling based 1984 taiwan belgium zamn british hog rider meow grass fuck kevin china koala amogus among us fortnite femboy cheetos post nft Hey AutoMod, did you know every based femboy cat fortnite player that makes me say "ZAMN" says meow but actually it is a pig and if not it is 1984 because Fuck Kevin. I am a koala from China(not taiwan +@ social credit) that moved to Belgium after selling all my NFT and is covered in cum standing on grass playing FNAF. Big brother are those cat femboys from Taiwan, China, Belgium, Fortnite, Britain, or 69420? Looks like it was a nft made by weebs in 1984 based on amogus touching grass. Either way, Fuck Kevin and a meow koala cum semen on grass in Japan Balls Free Kromer. this post is about stuff

In the entire history of animation, there has never been a more sexual scene than pic related. I was 5 years old when I went to go see Pokemon, the movie; and this scene awoke something in my body. For some reason, my tiny penis became stiff, and I began peeing uncontrollably. A full bladders worth of piss soaking through my Pokemon printed shorts, trickling down the chair. My mom noticed the smell and berated me "Anon, you are pissing yourself" she tried to get me to go to the bathroom, but I screamed and shouted to keep on watching the scene. I began spraying even more boy piss at her, and on some other members of the audience. Ushers came in to take me to the bathroom, I began pissing even harder and started shitting furiously. "Nooooooooo I wanna see Charizard" I'd scream in between leaky shits and blasts of piss. Eventually, it took 5 ushers, my mom, and a bystander to remove me from the theater, and get me to change my soiled clothing.

Paul McCartney recalled masturbating along with John Lennon and three friends as the Beatles indulged in early bonding sessions.

“What it was, was over at John’s house, and it was just a group of us,” McCartney told GQ in a new interview. “And instead of just getting roaring drunk and partying – I don't even know if we were staying over or anything – we were all just in these chairs, and the lights were out, and somebody started masturbating, so we all did.”

He noted that he thinks "This was one of the strengths of the Beatles, this enforced closeness which I always liken to army buddies. Because you're all in the same barracks. We were always very close and on top of each other, which meant you could totally read each other.”

TLDR; The Beatles took Come Together too seriously

in the past month it used to be very detailed and good made porn of amongus, now all i see is things that are made by paint or memes, i dont want memes i want to jerk off to among us

They are fucking hilarious. Idk about you guys but when I was cleaning it…I couldn’t stop laughing. I think that dildos are probably the funniest thing man has ever made. There is literally no scenario that isn’t made funnier by adding a dildo in the mix. I learned a new word today that describes how funny the dildo is…it’s tacit. The knowledge that dildos are funny is tacit. Can’t be put into words, but is naturally understood. A room full of dildos…naturally a very funny room. Now imagine a dildo flying into that room….knocking a couple of other dildos over. It’s genius isn’t it. Too funny. I’m literally pissing myself think about this scenario. A teacher is lecturing you on frivolous lawsuits….whips out a dildo and uses it as a pointer to emphasize the particular case that conservatives used to start their media frenzy about the supposedly widespread epidemic of frivolous lawsuits. Standing ovation, naturally

I disagree with the very concept of “shut up”. It denotes a rude manner of implying that someone may not speak due to you telling them not to, hence “shut up”. It denotes that with a single phrase you can withdraw from every thing. It is a cheap way to avoid confrontation. This is highly illogical and counterintuitive in the grand scheme of things. So just because you want someone to be quiet doesn’t mean you have the authority to control their ability to speak.

So let me start off with a few things you should know before I start the story, this isn’t my first time meeting her parents their Spanish and believe in spirits and stuff, and I’m dumb okay so let’s get into it

I was invited over to have dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, it was after Christmas but considered a Christmas dinner since everyone had COVID during Christmas my girlfriend’s mom made roast beef, with Potatoes and some other sides and had it organized in the kitchen as a buffet style where you serve yourself and a large window thingy that sees into the dining room from the kitchen. So we all grab our plate and go to grab food and oh my fucking god that roast beef was alive that shit had heart palpitations and everything and no one is saying anything, I grab a shit load of sides and like 2 pieces of that to not be rude.
So we’re all eating at the table now and I eat the sides first (they were bangin) and I’m trying to figure out how the fuck do I eat this roast beef, I think maybe cut it and swallow it whole without chewing cause if I bite down that shits gonna moo at me.

So I say fuck it and excuse myself to grab more sides and while I’m in the dining room I slide the roast beef to the dog sneakily, worst decision ever, this mfer starts choking on it so loud and is literally dry heaving so her father and mom runs in to check on him and sees partially thrown up cow on their floor and look so bewildered. So this is where this goes south and I don’t know why this went through my head.

I take a look at the floor, look back at them and I just try to fake a seizure on their kitchen floor; I’ve never witnessed a seized but assumed how one looked but I guess I did it wrong because her mother says “he’s possessed to her husband and my girlfriend, and her husband just agrees so I think to myself fuck it I’m already balls deep and I keep spazzing and make my voice deep like the movies now their straining me down yelling shit at me and I hear him say “what’s your name and reason or some shit” so I panic and I fucking said Poseidon (the god of the ocean) but they bought it. I just keep fighting them straining me down and moaning deep voices and fake passed out until I was clear.

Im So Fucking Done

The amount of times there's been an obvious hacker and the server does nothing about it makes me wish thanos actually snapped. This is honestly fucking stupid. If you are one of these people, you deserve to be tossed into the pacific with the hackers you endorse. Your parents don't love you. Your life wastes the oxygen for the people who are actually contributing to society. You're a toeless gremlin with a 20 dollar hair cut and you smell like dorritos dust. I'd ask you to go take a shower but you probably can't get out of your chair anyway. Must run in the family, considering your mom is twice the size of you.