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Displays only the finest of trash taken from /r/copypasta
You all disgust me
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You all disgust me like what the f\*ck do you mean that drawing looks 9!! IT DOESN’T! It looks like 13-14 which mind you kyumini is 15 you all will do anything to make someone appear like a bad person whether or not if it’s literally blaming them for being a Peto the fact that you’ve said things like “hardcore loli porn is ok if it’s fictional” and “I feel unsafe what the fuck kyumini” is just messed up you all wouldn’t have said that drawing looked so young if it had a more formed chest area idc what you say I’m telling the truth kyumini is NOT a peto he’s never talked about young children in a weird way or anything like that he’s a really sweet person and for you all to do this is so messed up and I swear to god if you come at me saying shit like “oh looks their a peto too” I’ll lose it I’m not a peto im just trying to prove a point.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qzvgcr
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PSA for all girls w/ pixie cuts: your wish is my my command! Like ughhh 😭♥ (from r/teenagers)
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PSA for all girls w/ pixie cuts: your wish is my my command! Like ughhh 😭♥
Omg and when they have bangs too! It's just so game over for me 😩😩😩

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qztifz
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TIL that women don't bee out if their butts
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So yesterday, I was walking home with my g/f and we were talking about how penises are really handy if you want to quickly public urinate.
And then I said, "Well you don't have it that bad, you can just pee out of your butt."
"What do you mean?"
"You can just pee out of your butt?"
"You think that women pee OUT OF OUR BUTTS?"
"Err...yes, right? Don't you?"
My g/f, quickly gaining traction as a "keeper" fell down on the sidewalk laughing hysterically and told me to Google it, and the image on Wikipedia was a cartoon of a woman spread eagle with a nice drinking-water-all-day pee spray coming right out of her lady parts, which up until that moment I assumed was a one-way-street.
I was speechless. How had this basic fact of human anatomy escaped me for so long? On paper, I'm not that much of an idiot. I have a masters degree. I read books VORACIOUSLY. I have slept with enough women to know what everything is supposed to do down there. At least I thought I did.

So ashamedly with a forensic eye, I've spent most of my night looking at weird girl-on-girl pee porn as objectively and medically as possible. (Because what the fuck do YOU think comes up when you look up "women peeing"?) And the evidence confirms it. Pee does not come out of a woman's butt. It's like a little valve, hidden in plain sight all this time right next to the vagina. I honestly never knew that little guy was there. Even more evidence that a woman's lady-parts sure go through a lot.
I'm not sure who failed me...was it the public schools? My parents? The government? Media? Society? The church?
Somewhere along my life not having sisters, and no interest in pee and sex, I was lead to believe that because women pee sitting down -- that urine must, in fact, come from the anus. In my very tragic defense, I've never watched a girl pee before. I'm always as far away from the bathroom as possible if a ladyfriend has to evacuate herself.
Of course now the more I think about it, the more logical this seems in terms of human development. After all, a vagina is just an inside out penis (or a penis is an inside out vagina, depending on how you want to look at it). But I haven't been able to sleep for the past few days, just thinking about this.

TL;DR - Women don't pee out of their butt.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qzsdb4
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I'll do everything for this one and only maid in genshin impact
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So i think I'm obsessed with that one maid from genshin impact. The actual knight of knights which isn't even a knight, Noelle. Everyday I think of Noelle. Everyday my day is filled with Noelle thoughts. The only thing motivates me in life is Noelle. I work for Noelle. I move for Noelle. The only reason I'm eating for is to see Noelle later. Not an hour passes without me thinking of Noelle. I dream of Noelle. The only thing left in my mind is Noelle. I have no goals but to see Noelle. And yes, I don't mind if Noelle cutted my fingers one by one. It would be my pleasure if Noelle used my body as her training dummy even her own slave. I don't have any problem licking her feets everday while being in a cage or even being kicked in the ass for fun while eating her food from the floor. The time I stare at Noelle is the time where I can feel my heart other than pain in my sick body. Even if somehow I managed to get a medicine I won't take it unless Noelle said so. I'll do anything if Noelle said so even if it was trying to kill myself again then I'll gladly hold the same knife as before and if I didn't find it again I'll just have to find another way. If Noelle wanted me to quit being a F2P I'll throw all my money just to farm artifacts and weapon materials for her. If Noelle wanted me to be her own toy I'll make sure to feel good in every way possible. If Noelle wanted me to leave her I'll listen to what she said and will return to my depression hole. If Noelle said that I must stop looking at her nsfw pics and shemale version of her fucking me in the ass then I'll do as she wish. I've never been in love with someone but the moment I saw Noelle while hearing her calm voice...my eyes cried while staring at her smile...I've built Noelle with every build possible...I got c6 Noelle in two different accounts and I wouldn't mind doing it forever...the feeling when I hear Noelle saying she will protect me is far more pleasureful from seeing her smile in the nsfw arts...even if people said Noelle is underage and I won't be underage forever I will always dream of her...her long silver pony tail hair in her giraffe pajama in our bed while our kids are sleeping and the roosters are fighting and me staring at Noelle's beauty while she is asleep at 5 am where I wake up for the day and the sun still didn't come on Noelle's face so I can close my eyes to dream about her once again. Even if everyone one said I must stop this. I simply won't unless it's Noelle herself of course. And with all my brain knowing how Noelle is just another fictional character my heart can't stop this love feeling with the more my body gets sick the more I look at Noelle arts and only by thinking of her motivates me to even do exercises that my body won't handle. Even knowing how fake my feelings toward everything. I know my love for Noelle won't be fake anytime soon and even the time my head can't see the letters I'll complete this with I AM MADLY IN LOVE WI NOELLE I'LL DO MY BEST JUST TO CREATE EVEN A VIRTUAL REALITY WHERE ME AND HER ALONE EXIST.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qzpuly
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Geometry Dash Refrence
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Oh my god is that a mothherfucking geometry dash reference?! Oh my geometry dash is my favorite game, I'm glad that they made a reference about my favorite game. One time on my music class my teacher said "Kyrie eleison" Get it because it's a gd lvl made by a famous creator viprin?! One time I heard someone talking about nine circles, and I said "Oh my god is that a motherfucking geometry dash reference?! And they reported me to the astronauts to fling in space after they flinnged me to space and I was thinking in space get? Because thinking space!, i was knocked unconscious and i woke up to a crimson planet suffering get it?! Because crimson planet is a geometry dash level that i will never beat. One time i heard someone say "The golden" Get it? Because it's geometry dash reference, after that, they kidnapped me and took me to a shock therapy get it? Because it's a motherfucking geometry dash reference! One time i saw my classmate drinking a water that has a sonic wave logo in it and i said "Oh my god is that a motherfucking geometry dash reference?!" And my friend whips me with a belt. Also, i watched the news recently, and i saw a news about slaughterhouse and i said "Oh my god is that a motherfucking geometry dash reference" And my friend said " Can you get your life back on track?!" And i said "Oh my god is that a motherfuckinng geometry dash reference?!" And my friend screamed in the room get it? Because screamroom is a geometry dash level! One time my pastor talked about the hell inferno and i said "Oh my god is that a motherfucking geometry dash reference?!" And my pastor kicked in his church but it was worth it, because it's a geometry dash reference. One time i heard someone talking about tartarus, and i said "Oh my god is that a motherfucking geometry dash reference?!" And they kicked me. One time my mom bought us a aeonair conditioner and i said " Oh my god is that a motherfucking geometry dash reference?!" Get it? Because aeonair is a famous geometry dash content creator. TRUSTA NERF GUN TRUSTA NERF GUN TRUSTA NERF GUN TRUSTA NERF GUN TRUSTA NERF GUN TRUSTA NERF GUN TRUSTA NERF GUN TRUSTA NERF GUN TRUSTA NERF GUN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qzpc56
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Issues with having a long cock
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One of the biggest issues is well the bulge. I personally am a shower with near to none growth so I always have a bulge to worry about I’m super self conscious about this as a lady called be out for having one which traumatized me. But I can no longer wear loose clothes only very tight boxers and jeans with a sweatshirt combo to hide my bulge. After a long day of work sometimes the clothing I where naturally stretches out and becomes loose and if I’m not carful around stairs you can hear a distinct slapping as a descent. We all get random boners (maybe not the ladies) but it’s not pleasant having a python rip open your pants/try to travel down your leg/ take a sniff at your belly button out the pants. I can’t ever wear shorts without risking showing off a little by my junk hanging out a leg. I can’t go swimming due to the same shorts reason and wet clothes it doesn’t help how I’m 6’3 and all clothes look way smaller too. Bathrooms are the worst every single time I get a witches kiss by my shlong tuching the bowl and water especially with those low public toilets. Have you ever taken poos only for them to smooch your junk when they tip over it’s horrible. I will say though it makes peeing quieter as I’m closer to the water and my aim is enhanced by the longer barrel. I have to admit though I am a turbo virgin as you can clearly tell by me talking about my dick size on Reddit but fear of rejection because of my oversize is a fear I have heard from several people that big dicks are just uncomfortable and not as enjoyable.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qzneuh
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Keanu chungus Fortnite bad emojis bad LOL stonks baby Yoda pewdiepie elon musk wholesome 100 avengers endgame
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Napolean's iconic conquests were more recent than you may think!
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The first thing you may think of when you read "Napolean" is of course his famous defeat in the battle of Xiang Hua Piao in 1309. However, lesser-known was his involvement in Winston Churchill's council during WWII. He played a key role in advising the fat leader towards victory against Japan (this can be credited as the leading cause for the invention of anime).

The final remaining dinosaur, the carnivorous Aihavasauranus lived on a conservation reserve in London, Japan until Tuesday. During Napolean's visit to the island nation for the post-war commemorative Rubik's cube tourney on 7-12th May 1569, he visited the park and saw the majestic beast in its final moments. Thus, we can conclude that Napolean was closer to the dinosaurs than Churchill was to the space age.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qzl06h
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Snoo cock v2
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Source: https://old.reddit.com/qzk1u9
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I’m jealous of my wife’s relationship with our rabbit
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4 months ago, my wife and I decided to get a rabbit.
He's a big black lop called Theodore. Things were
fine at first, and I did like him. There were no issues
But, as time has elapsed, I've tentatively been
observing a certain dynamic that this rabbit has
brought to our household.
Whenever I come home from work, my wife is with
Theodore; when I wake up, my wife is with Theodore.
She spends at least an hour with this bunny every
day. She does everything for him. This isn't just
a normal 'friendship' thing. And I'll just admit it: I
am fucking jealous. I guess she sees something
in Theodore? Oh, and the rabbit is male, so, yeah,
that does make it worse.
I don't care if it sounds stupid. I would never say
this to anyone in real life. But this is how I feel. I
haven't broached the topic to her. I'm just quietly
stewing over this. I should have never got that rabbit,
because it seems like he's literally stealing my own
wife away from me. Yes, I'm aware they probably
aren't doing anything sexual. But the precedent just
annoys me and makes me feel insecure.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qzir3b
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source in comments
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# TIFU by giving myself an accidental enema

​

This happened two weeks ago and I'm still cringing from it. I was on holiday with my family and we were at this water park, it was nearing the end of the day and I decided to go down one of the water slides. The water slide was high up and basically vertical and I hadn't been on this yet so I decided to get a quick go on it before the water park closed. As I got to the top the lifeguard told me the usual stuff - keep arms and legs inside the slide blah blah blah. I just wanted to get to the bottom as fast as possible so I jumped straight on.

As I was going down I was slowly gaining more and more speed when suddenly I had this unusual sensation in my ass, it felt like a fart but pushing in the opposite direction. I was getting worried and then suddenly I felt the "pop" followed by a sudden rush of pain. The slide spat me out into the pool at the bottom and I quickly made my way out.

I was walking back to my parents and I still had the fart sensation present. (At the time I had no idea about what had just happened) I decided to let it rip as it felt like a silent one, what happened next I cannot fully remember. I heard a splash on the ground. It sounded like a tap running. Some guy turned around and said "Dude, you just shit yourself!" Except it wasn't shit it was water coming out of my ass? People were staring, laughing. Oh God the laughing. The laughs will forever echo inside my head taunting me for the rest of time. I ran straight to the bathroom and cleaned myself up. I'm just glad my family didn't find out what happened.

TL;DR: Got my anal virginity taken by a water slide.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qzimbt
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You didn't ask?
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You didn't ask? That's amazing, are you a dictator? A god? The most important person in the world? No? Then why would you say that like it matters? "I come out as a homosexual, this is really hard for me and I hope you respect that." "Did I ask?" no, you did not ask, we couldn't care less if you asked, you are nothing compared to the universe. Do you think your opinion holds a higher meaning than anyone else's? You could've said anything, something creative, even an ok or you not saying a word would be better than the phrase "Did I ask?" we get it, you never asked, but did anyone ask about you asking? Even if you said that you traveled the world to find out who asked, who asked you to do that? You didn't ask for their opinion, but nobody asked if you care at all. You aren't creative or smart. Even a caveman grunts and ooga boogas would be better than that phrase. Now stop pretending to be a god and go back to school to learn how to respect people

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qzhoz0
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Watching porn in a funeral
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So you're at a funeral of someone you never talked to, and you decide to pull out your phone. Watching porn during a funeral is an evil, evil thing to do, but after all, you're a Redditor- an inherently evil being. "They'll never suspect a thing!!" you think, cackling in your mind. What you didn't account for was Uncle Bob, watching over your shoulder. His tacky polarized glasses and twisted expression are the last things you see before your complete social downfall. "Hey [NAME HERE], you watchin' some good ol' hentai on your special phone there?" Everyone in the area gasps and turns your way. They notice that you're wearing glasses for some reason while looking at your phone. Slowly, person by person, they all realize your true nature. Uncle Bob was completely aware of the effects of this. Bringer of justice and punishment, he has dragged you out from the shadows, and enlightened the world of your sins. But in reality, your fate was sealed a long time ago. Perhaps it was at birth, or maybe when you first installed Reddit. Chances are, though, that your life had ended the moment you decided to make your phone invulnerable to interfering eyes... As the rest of life passes you by, you realize the truth of this world... Never trust Reddit.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qzgk43
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Spotify premium ad girl
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Oh Spotify premium ad girl,

i love you and your sweet, delicious, erotic, arousing voice.I would love to listen to your voice for all of eternity. Whenever your voice comes on i get a rock hard erection and i masturbate for the entire sweet duration of your ad for 30 seconds. Whenever i put on a song i am restless and impatient for it to end so i can listen to your voice (which makes me harder than differential calculus ), go to the toilet, grab my throbbing, jacked-up, ready, penis and jack off to you suggesting Spotify subscription plans .No amount of Taylor Swift can satisfy my infernal lust towards your piercing,penetrating,guttural voice. I would love it if one day i can slip my penis into your voicebox while you persuade me to buy Spotify premium. I want to make love to you not just for the bodily pleasure but to make you moan in your seducing, nasal, erogenous voice which makes birds sing,the trees dance, and me vulnerable to the elements of nature.It exposes me to the beauty of the world. When you say "get spotify premium..now", i literally cannot hold it in anymore and ejaculate that instant .

xoxo

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qzfoq5
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Burying
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If you need to hide a body. The best way to do it is to remove the hands and teeth to prevent identification and dispose them somewhere. You can also pour yogurt in the anus to help speed up the decomposition process to further prevent identification. If you must bury the body, make sure you bury it vertically. As aerial searches will look for disturbed ground about 6' or so long. Also, bury a dead animal on top of the body so when ever those police dogs come, they will alert and the searcher will find the dead animal. They might assume it as false-positive and then move on.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qzelx0
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Women can't cut hair. (Omegle)
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Women can't cut hair for shit. They fucked up my haircut again, it's so fucking ugly like holy shit, and a twenty dollar tip? Come the fuck on. I should've followed my own intution and never let a woman cut my hair again. It's so fucking ugly man, like you have no clue, my self esteem is fucked, my mental health is at risk, I literally want to fucking kill myself over this shit. It's so fucking bad. It's happened over and over and over AND OVER AND OVER. Cause I'm some male and they thing "yeah lets make fucking even uglier" fuck this man. I'm still trying to find a job too under this much stress, my hairs falling out, I'm growing fucking pimples all over my forehead, I'm having breathing issues, I am so fucking stressed I might just actually straight up fucking die. I can't fucking do this. I can't fucking live. I can't get my hair how I fucking want it. I'm already ugly enough. Any more is adding glue, tape, and nails to the fucking coffin. Fucking ending it all would be a grace. You don't get it. When people fucking look at me. THEY FEEL SORRY FOR ME. DOOOOOOO UUUUUUUU UNDERSTAND HWO THAT FUCKING FEELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????? KIK: masterofwaifus

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qzehlu
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If a vegan injects semen are they still technically a vegan
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If a vegan ingests semen are they technically still vegan?

By definition a vegan does not ingest animal products. Humans are technically animals. So, if a vegan ingests semen from a human are they technically still vegan? Thoughts?

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qzczwh
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IS THAT A GIRL GAMER?????????????
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A girl.... 👩AND a gamer? 🎮Whoa mama!😮😮 Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing😙! eyes pop out 😮😮😮😉AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out 😱😱😱WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF🐶🐶 tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach😛😛😛😛😛 WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr ,🤪😜😜🤪tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart 💘 Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt😍😍😍 ba-bum b inhales from the gas tank ⛽⛽⛽honka honka honka honka 🚕🚕 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪ohhhh my gooooodd\~😮

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qzc6mc
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My Shit
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I just took the biggest fucking shit. It was pouring out of my ass like a slushie. Every now and then I would feel a clump go through my asshole like a pebble flying through a fast-flowing stream. At this point I was clenching on to the wall, desperate for a means to an end. And just as it started to slow down, just as there was some hope in the world, a huge log came pushing out. And following was round 2. This time it was spicy. Hot lava flowing through my ass. My body was involuntarily seizing up, curling up into a ball. And even when it was over, my ass hurt like a bitch for hours.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qza69u
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Cbt
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CBT - The Full Copypasta

Cock and ball torture
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia at en.wikipedia.org

Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as genital piercing, wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking. The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant.

Image: Electrostimulation applied on a penis

Contents:
Section 1: In Pornography
Section 2: Ball stretcher
Section 3: Parachute
Section 4: Humbler
Section 5: Testicle cuff

Section 1: In pornography

In addition to it’s occasional role in BDSM pornography, Tamakeri (literally Ball kicking) is a separate genre in Japan. One notable actress in tamakeri is Erika Nagai who typically uses her martial arts skills to knee or kick men in the testicles.

Section 2: Ball stretcher
A ball stretcher is a sex toy that is fastened around a man in order to elongate the scrotum and provide a feeling of weight pulling the testicles away from the body. While leather stretchers are most common, other models are made of steel rings that are fastened with screws causing additional mildly uncomfortable weight to the wearer. The length of the stretcher may vary from 1-4 inches, and the steel models can weigh as much as five pounds.

Section 3: Parachute

A Parachute is a small collar, usually made from leather, which fastens around the scrotum, and from which weights can be hung. Conical in shape, three or four short chains hanging beneath, to which weights can be attached. Used as part of cock and ball torture within a BDSM relationship, the parachute provides a constant drag, and squeezing effects on the man’s testicles. Moderate weights of 3-5 kg can be suspended, especially during bondage. Smaller weights can be used when the man is free to move, when the swinging effect of the weight can restrict sudden movements, as well as providing a visual stimulus for the dominant partner.

Section 4: Humbler

A humbler is a BDSM physical restraint device used to restrict the movement of a submissive male participant in a BDSM scene. The humbler consists of a testicle cuff device which clamps around the base of the scrotum, mounted in the center of a bar that passes behind the thighs at the base of the buttocks. This forces the wearer to keep his legs forward, as any attempt to to straighten the legs slightly pulls directly on the scrotum, causing from considerable discomfort to extreme pain.

Section 5: Testicle cuff

A testicle cuff is a ring-shaped device around the scrotum between the body and the testicles which when closed does not allow the testicles to slide through it. A common type has two connected cuffs, one around the scrotum and the other around the base of the penis. They are just one of many devices to restrain the male genitalia. A standard padlock may also be locked around the scrotum; without the key it cannot be removed.

Some passive men enjoy the feeling of being "owned", while dominant individuals enjoy the sense of "owning" their partners. Requiring such a man wear testicle cuffs symbolizes that his sexual organs belong to his partner, who may be either male or female. There is a level of humiliation involved, by which they find sexual arousal. The cuffs may even form part of a sexual fetish of the wearer or his partner.

However, these are extreme uses of testicle cuffs. More conventionally, the device pulls down the testicles and keeps them there during stimulation, which has a number of benefits:

Making the penis appear longer. Pulling the testicles down and away from the base of the penis stretches the skin over the base of the penis and pubic bone, exposing the additional inch or so of penile shaft that is normally hidden from view.
Improving sexual arousal. While some men may be aroused by the feeling of being "owned", the physical feeling of stretching the ligaments that suspend the testicles has an effect similar to the more common practice of stretching one's legs and pointing the toes.
Preventing the testicles from lifting up so far that they become lodged under the skin immediately adjacent to the base of the penis, a condition which can be very uncomfortable, especially if the testicle is then squashed by the slap of skin during thrusting in sexual intercourse.
Delaying or intensifying ejaculation by preventing the testicles from rising normally to the "point of no return". It is much harder to reach an orgasm.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qz9b5z
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