In 2014 a 17 year old was found strangled to death in an abandoned car. He was last seen alive at a Denny's with three boys who a witness said 'looked like they were from the local chess club' (glasses, button up shirts, khaki pants, tie, formal shoes, etc) and wasn't seen alive again. The murder was planned that's why they invited him out. He was killed on purpose. On the way back, the killer and the kid were in the backseat. The other two were in the front seats. The killer got the kid into a reverse figure four headscissor which is where the killer is sitting on the victim's chest, facing away from them, legs are coiled around a person's neck and the victim's face and neck are forced into the butt.

The kid died of asphyxiation/strangulation. Died.

Ever since, my brain has itched relentlessly over this very incident with no end in sight.

I was shopping today. I could not stop thinking about how I could literally die from a nerd shoving me into his ass, boa constrictor style. How can a mammal of all things kill a person exactly like a snake? It tripped me out every single time I thought about it, to the point I couldn't focus on what I was buying THEN a stereotypial nerdy man walks past me, I can smell his cologne or whatever he uses, and I think to myself ''THEY CAN DO THAT?! WHAT THE FUUUUCK'' over and over. I stare into space in a daze. I look at a guy and wonder if he could end up being the next victim and he never even considered he could die that way and that was his fate awaiting him. I get goosebumps every single time. I cannot even look at the backseat of a car without imagining this fucking incident. I keep having dreams where a nerd's ass is heading right for my breathing apparatus and I am promptly suffocated and all my struggling does is make his soft fucking ass jiggle around. My brain short circuits at the thought that someone who once lived fucking died this way. Died from being forcibly smothered in some nerd's bubble butt ass. The kid was literally EATEN ALIVE!! BY THAT NERD'S ASS! Died with his nose firmly lodged several inches deep into a nerd's bubblebutt bootleg Kim Kardashian ass.. Holly fucking shit. God damnit to hell. Fuck you nerds for doing this, now I can't stop thinking about it

To everyone reading this I hope your day/evening goes smoothly and you don't get eaten up by a nerd's ass

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q70r20

TRESTICLE PENETRATOR HOLY BALSACK NATURAL MUSCLE ARMOR TRIPLE BALL TWICE LONG PENIS EXTENDER V MOTION UP AND DOWN 0.84 SECOND REP x24 800 POUND MORDIBLY O BEAST TRIPLE EDGE EXTENDED VAGINA STEALTHY ANNIHILATOR FIRE SWINGS TOBACCO X CROSS REVERSE ABDOMINAL SQUATS 1400 POUND DEADLIFT BY AHEGAO LIFE BRINGER 12 PACK KING COBRA STING SCORPION VENOM ASS CHEEK GUARDIAN METAL HARD PEE HOLE CRUNCHES x64 reps BROKEN BALL TWISTED PENIS FIXING COACH DRAGON SCALE PUBES CUMXPLOSION LEFT ANGLE DOORFRAME FRONT UPPER BODY 90⁰ CRUNCHES LEFT & RIGHT BALLS STICKING UP, LEFT, DOWN, RIGHT, UPSIDE DOWN IN VIBRATING MOTION 600 POUND DUMBELL LIFTED BY 8 PACK COCK FORESKIN TRIPLE QUADRUPLE UPGRADE x84 REPS

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6z6vd

IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ***SQUID GAME REFERENCE***??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 😱😱😱

HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ***SQUID GAME REFERENCE***??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 SQUID GAME IS THE BEST FUCKING SHOW 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 GI-HUN IS SO HOTTTTT 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 COME PLAY DDJAKI WITH ME 🟥🟦🟥🟦🟥🟦🟥🟦🟥🟦🟥🟦 YOU CAN PAY WITH YOUR BODY 🖐😟👊😟🖐😟👊😟🖐😟👊😟 MUGUNGHWA KKOCI PIEOT SEUMNIDA 🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠 What’s the game❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ What’s the game! What’s the game!❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game!What’s the game!What’s the game! What’s the game!What’s the game!What’s the game What’s the game!❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game!What’s the game❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ ❓ What’s the game!❓ What’s the game! ❓ ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game!What’s the game! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game! What’s the game!What’s the game!What’s the game! What’s the game! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Oh no you failed the game!👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Player 69420 eliminated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 r/squidgamememes r/unexpectedsquidgame r/expectedsquidgame perfectly balanced as all things should be r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedthanos for balance 🦑🎮🦑🎮🦑🎮🦑🎮 ⏺🔼⏹⏺🔼⏹⏺🔼⏹ 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6ym0a

In 2014 a 17 year old was found strangled to death in an abandoned car. He was last seen alive at a Denny's with three boys who a witness said 'looked like they were from the local chess club' (glasses, button up shirts, khaki pants, tie, formal shoes, etc) and wasn't seen alive again. The murder was planned that's why they invited him out. He was killed on purpose. On the way back, the killer and the kid were in the backseat. The other two were in the front seats. The killer got the kid into a reverse figure four headscissor which is where the killer is sitting on the victim's chest, facing away from them, legs are coiled around a person's neck and the victim's face and neck are forced into the butt.

The kid died of asphyxiation/strangulation. Died.

Ever since, my brain has itched relentlessly over this very incident with no end in sight.

I was shopping today. I could not stop thinking about how I could literally die from a nerd shoving me into his ass, boa constrictor style. How can a mammal of all things kill a person exactly like a snake? It tripped me out every single time I thought about it, to the point I couldn't focus on what I was buying THEN a stereotypial nerdy man walks past me, I can smell his cologne or whatever he uses, and I think to myself ''THEY CAN DO THAT?! WHAT THE FUUUUCK'' over and over. I stare into space in a daze. I look at a guy and wonder if he could end up being the next victim and he never even considered he could die that way and that was his fate awaiting him. I get goosebumps every single time. I cannot even look at the backseat of a car without imagining this fucking incident. I keep having dreams where a nerd's ass is heading right for my breathing apparatus and I am promptly suffocated and all my struggling does is make his soft fucking ass jiggle around. My brain short circuits at the thought that someone who once lived fucking died this way. Died from being forcibly smothered in some nerd's bubble butt ass. The kid was literally EATEN ALIVE!! BY THAT NERD'S ASS! Died with his nose firmly lodged several inches deep into a nerd's bubblebutt bootleg Kim Kardashian ass.. Holly fucking shit. God damnit to hell. Fuck you nerds for doing this, now I can't stop thinking about it

To everyone reading this I hope your day/evening goes smoothly and you don't get eaten up by a nerd's ass

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6xke6

I remember one kid at my school got bullied really bad. They would shove him, throw away his packed lunches, and tear up his Harry Potter books.

They would even shout "wizard bitch!!" At him and when he corrected them saying female wizards are actually witches they would just beat him up. At first I thought it was awful and told them to stop. I said they were all bullies and this is not ok. They eventually backed off.

Now looking back on it, they weren't bullies at all, they just didn't want to support JK Rowling's transphobic rhetoric and influence. They were doing the right thing all along and I was too blind to see it.

They even were trying to break down the boundaries in gender biased language such as "witch" and "wizard." They were gender-abolishing warriors, not cruel kids.

They we're standing up for those that were silenced. How they knew this at such a young age, so far in advance before she even publicly stated anything is nothing short of amazing. They were playing chess, I was merely playing checkers. That's a true ally.

Wherever they are, I hope they are doing well. And I also hope that bigoted wizard-loving loser is being tripped as I say this.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6x9er

One might be tempted to apply conventional insults to you, you are an Idiot, a shameless attention whore, an Ugly motherfucker, a whiny Bitch, sleezeball, and so forth. But the fact of the matter is that those insults and the various colourful variations and combinations of which never the less give you too much credit.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6uiq1

Everything.

What the fuсk is it with you and no dolphins? The only people that don't fuсk dolphins are those who never have, so I'm gonna coach you.

Your first step should be to find dolphins to mate with. Aquariums are a bad choice for various reasons such as having to have permission from the owner, no privacy, night visits are impossible etc.

The best place to find dolphins to mate with is usually in the wild. They should have some human contact (as to not be completely unused to humans) but should still be a somewhat low trafficked area for privacy reasons. You should go there a lot so the dolphins get used to your presence, and swim a lot there as well. Slowly encroach upon them every now and again, until eventually you're well acquainted with them. At this point, you should continue this as much as possible and a waiting game will ensue. Eventually, one of the dolphins will get horny and if you're lucky, and they know you well enough, they'll choose you as a mate.

It is important to determine the sex of the dolphin, now. If you can see the underside, look at the naval of the dolphin and go down. The female dolphin will have one continuous slit that contains the anus and the vagina, and on either side of the genital slit will be the mammary slits where the nipple is contained for feeding the calves. The male, however, will have no mammary slits, and the eurogenital opening where the penis is contained will be separated from the anus by a bridge of skin. Although that's the best way, If you can't see the bottom of them then you can look at their head. The males will be more stumpy and the females (both head and body) will be more sleek and streamline.

If it's a male, the only thing I know how to do is to masturbate him. I have heard some people say you can give oral, but I've also heard others say it can be deadly due to tail flukes, so it is best in the interest of safety only to masturbate him. I wouldn't try anal either, as though I never have, I heard it can cause peritonitus from the tail flukes they do when experiencing sexual pleasure and the force of ejaculation.

With that aside, here's how to masturbate him.

If his penis is already out, rub it quickly up and down and after a good few tail flukes he'll begin to slow down. This means he's almost finished, and you should change from quickly rubbing to slowly massaging and gently squeezing it. If he still doesn't сum, then just do the process again until he does. Their will be some strength behind it, so be careful as to not get hit.

If his penis isn't out yet, you can gently poke and rub the top end of the eurogenital opening and if you do it right his 12-14 penis will appear, and from here just repeat the steps above.

Fun fact about the male dolphins penis, they can curl the last 3 inches of it to wrap around and pick up objects 1 inch in diameter. Female dolphins can also do this with their genital slit as well.

If it's a female you have a few options. Being male, you can either mate or masturbate them.

When masturbating, note that the clitoris is located at the top end of the genital slit and is rather visible and prominent when erect. You can poke and rub this, or finger it as well, though note that it is larger than a female human vagina and you may need to use more fingers than usual and make more broad motions. It is for this reason I prefer the first option when it comes to pleasuring female dolphins. You could also technically give oral, but the only problem with this is all members of the dolphin family have powerful tail flukes when experiencing sexual pleasure, and your head and face are bound to get knocked a few times.

As for mating with them you should note that the dolphin will come up to you in most cases. While it is possible to do this open water, it is very difficult and distracting. I'd prefer water that is anywhere from 2-4 feet deep as this is the most comfortable for the dolphin and me in my experience. You may try a few different positions but the best one in my experience is them on their side with their belly facing towards you. From here, you can penetrate. When penetrating there will be multiple chambers that each have doors you'll need to force open, this is because sea water kills dolphin sperm and is how female dolphins keep it out. However, once all the way inside, the doors and walls of these chambers will close down on you and begin manipulating and massaging you inside them. They tug, twist, pull, and gently massage you inside them. Female dolphins have extremely manipulative muscles and are very good at this, and it is for this reason that during sex male dolphins don't pump (too much of a risk for sea water to get in) and instead the females do all the work. So just stay inside them and enjoy the ride!

Note that if you change your mind and start pulling out, female dolphins will often tighten down on you to prevent you from doing so. They like a commitment and probably won't take kindly to their mate walking out on them. If this happens, don't worry, you'll be released when you both finish. Yep, that's right, both! For whatever reason dolphins always synchronize their orgasm to mates, dolphin or human. So unless something really scares them enough to let you go, just focus on finishing if you really want to get out as that's the only way.

Don't worry too much though, you won't last long. Dolphins are extremely intelligent and can detect quivers and even the slightest muscle movements. They can tell when you're about to finish, and estimate how far away you are. They'll then use this knowledge to make calculated decisions on what manipulations they think will get you there the quickest, and are very good at it. I'd say you won't last longer than 2 minutes on average. When you're done, I'd recommend staying there for a little bit. It's a very emotional experience, and it is hard to comprehend but it helps to be there with the dolphins a little longer.

Now, if the dolphin is in a group they'll be fine if you really want to leave and decide against doing it again (though now that you've tried it I'm sure you won't stop), however, if it is by itself for some reason you need to make mating a habit and do it as often as possible. Dolphins will commit suicide if separated from mates. In a group they could always switch mates, but if they're by themselves they likely don't have this option and you are their only mate. I'd recommend mating as often as possible regardless as it strengthens your bond with them and makes them less likely to leave you for a different mate, but it really is a necessity if they're by themselves.

Something I should probably mention is that you should ensure that the dolphin you're mating with/masturbating is the only horny dolphin in the area. Dolphin orgies can happen and are actually dangerous to be stuck in, as they get very excited and being raped by a male dolphin anally could potentially be deadly as mentioned above. However, you're much more likely to die by being drowned in an event like this, and it is very difficult to escape them. They don't happen often, but with all rare but dangerous things you should still keep note of it. I'll admit it can be hard to tell if there is more than one horny dolphin as the first one you spot will likely have all your attention, but if they get rowdy enough you'll notice. I've never been stuck in one of these myself, and I've only ever seen it happen once, so I can't provide any advice on escaping from one. The only thing I know to do is to just make sure I avoid them all together.

I should also note that If you're in the mood and they aren't then (though I recommend letting them make the first move) you can gently pet them like normal and every so often rub your hand along their genital slit, but if they still aren't interested then be warned you should NEVER try to rape a dolphin. Not only will you likely never see that dolphin again because they're very intelligent and won't forget that, but also because they're so much larger than you. You could never hold one down, so there's no point in trying, and you'll be lucky if they don't decide to kill you.

Final note is this may sound familiar. If so, you're thinking of the "dolphin sex . org" copypasta. This however, is original. My only issue with the dolphin sex . org copypasta is male masturbation technique. Anybody that collects dolphin semen for Artificial Insemination (AI) knows that it is best to start of rubbing quickly then go to softly massaging it after the tail flukes slow down. His technique of constant massaging may have worked for him, and he may have learned it from his own experience inside a dolphin, but it isn't the best way. He also never mentions the multiple chambers, or the fact that lone dolphins commit suicide if separated from mates, and didn't really tell you much about the best position to be in. When writing on a very specific topic such as dolphin fuсking it is very difficult to not find yourself agreeing with other well written works on the subject. it is overall a fine resource, but it could be better and his techniques could be improved.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6u2fi

Guess I was bored. I feel different, Like I was harnessing the powers of the universe. It felt like you were sucking dick but also being sucked at the same time. Why did I do this.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6semm

Lol... what we have here, is called a "normie," per se. You see, the original meme, that you are referencing, mentions David, not Jason. It is quite a popular meme and the name is pretty hard to forget, so my down-vote is on you (double entendre hehe), buddy boy.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6rtz5

I don't want to see some asshole make a copypasta contain words that may get my bot get banned.

I rather seeing my copypasta got censored rather than seeing cummy bot die because of reddit.

But I actually have a better idea.

Instead of censoring words. u/ExtraCummyBot1000 will ignore a post that contain illegal words such as nwords. If there's too many fuck, shit or any other common swear words, it would also ignore it.

If you have a better idea, just tell me on dm or in the comments

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6qgks

⚠️BEEEP⚠️...⚠️BEEEP⚠️...⚠️BEEEP⚠️...

The Niggas Association of The Hood have issued an Illegal N-Word Use warning for the following districts: Ligma, Sugma, 🅱️ofa, and Sugondese.

Numerous instances of N-Word Alarms being triggered by white supremacists have recently occurred across the Hood. These individuals are believed to be highly dangerous and should not be approached. Citizens are instructed to remain inside and lock their doors.

Under no circumstances should any citizen attempt to waste racists with their glocks, and should store the following items in a secure location: Weed, Gold Chains, Emergency N-Word Passes, Women, Watermelon, Fried Chicken, and Purple Kool Aid.

Remain tuned for further instructions.

⚠️BEEEP⚠️...⚠️BEEEP⚠️...⚠️BEEEP⚠️...

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6oshh

😱😱😱 HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ***SQUID GAME REFERENCE***??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 SQUID GAME IS THE BEST FUCKING SHOW 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 GI-HUN IS SO HOTTTTT 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 COME PLAY DDJAKI WITH ME 🟥🟦🟥🟦🟥🟦🟥🟦🟥🟦🟥🟦 YOU CAN PAY WITH YOUR BODY 🖐😟👊😟🖐😟👊😟🖐😟👊😟 MUGUNGHWA KKOCI PIEOT SEUMNIDA 🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠 What’s the game❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ What’s the game! What’s the game!❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game!What’s the game!What’s the game! What’s the game!What’s the game!What’s the game What’s the game!❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game!What’s the game❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ ❓ What’s the game!❓ What’s the game! ❓ ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game!What’s the game! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game! What’s the game!What’s the game!What’s the game! What’s the game! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Oh no you failed the game!👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Player 69420 eliminated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 r/squidgamememes r/unexpectedsquidgame r/expectedsquidgame perfectly balanced as all things should be r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedthanos for balance 🦑🎮🦑🎮🦑🎮🦑🎮 ⏺🔼⏹⏺🔼⏹⏺🔼⏹ 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6ngy6

Im literally fucking livid like the dudes shoots faster then i can fucking get up hes like baby jesus of archery hes a damn god i cant even looking around he just shoots another damn arrow into my i have lioe 100s of arrowsin my chest rn and hes saying the same shit over and over almost taunting me i cant wait to escape so i can murder him

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6n0s5

Okay, WHO TOOK A SHIT IN MY CUM SOCK?
The cum sock and poop sock are CLEARLY LABELED. I should know, because I embroidered them myself after the last incident. If you quinkers could take TWO SECONDS of your time to make sure you have the right sock before dropping a MASSIVE FUDGE DRAGON inside of it, I wouldn't be sitting here jacking off into a pile of SHIT right now. Seriously, this is a mess. I've got squishy chunks oozing out the hole, the fabric is soaking through with juices, my phone is covered in shit, and the smell is god AWFUL. I'm not kidding guys. My mom is gonna be LIVID when she cleans this off my bedsheets. It's everywhere and I'm honestly disgusted. Fess up now and it will be easier for all of us, trust me.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6lcd2

**Why is porn so full of incest now?**

For generations, porn was predominantly focused on the fantasy of getting with the girl/milf next door, but suddenly, pornography has made a massive turn, and now a lot of it seems to be about banging step-family. It’s so abruptly prevalent that it’s become a meme. Is this a Gen Z thing? Is it possible that there’s a serious generational/psychological issue here that needs to be addressed?

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6kkr4

I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek.


He penetrates my butthole.
It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing and eyes watering.
I want to please Shrek.
He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love.
My dad walks in.
Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says,
"It's all ogre now."
Shrek leaves through my window.
Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6iv33

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Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6ijul

The constant repeated hits of intense relief and euphoria after you’re done in the bathroom is second to none.

Plus when you live alone it feels like a nice day off. I don’t have the words to describe it but it just feels like a very good lazy day.

I rarely get food poisoning so I get it maybe once every two years but when I do I always feel so lucky. So it’s weird to me that people think diarrhea is some kind of bad experience.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6i0h3

>be me, 25 years old

>have had kind of a hard early adulthood but overcame it with hard work and therapy

>now working a job that I don’t hate, able to pay bills and afford fun things sometimes

>one morning surfing reddit as usual
>see cringey post about some idiot running around his lunchroom with a troll face

>wondering who the fuck would do-

>suddenly flash back to highschool days

>part of terminally online nerd group

>back when liking reddit and memes were niche and finding others was like finding someone who was apart of fightclub except the first rule was the opposite

>unironically would ask “when does the narwal bacon?”

>forgot my lunch one day and decided to do some epic trolling

>“hey guys watch this”

>powerwalk around the cafeteria like a moron stopping at tables to hit them with the troll face, an online meme that only high IQ individuals like myself would get

>table of friends are laughing their asses off

>Their lack of knowledge makes it more of a troll and thus funnier

>friends laughing so hard you can hear their howls from across the lunchroom

>stop at one table that I didn’t see my crush sitting at and throw on my trollface
>before I ask “problem?” my crush giggles

>omg annon, you are SO funny, you should do this everyday

>feel a warm jolt of electricity from my toes up legs, in my penis, and up my spine to the top of my head hearing her acknowledge my existence and wanting to see more of my epic comedy performance

>continue trolling until lunch is over

>next day I ask to use the bathroom before lunch

>speed eat my bag of cold lunch in the bathroom and return to class just before the bell

>troll time has been optimized

>do the powerwalk, trollface, problem, routine again

>friends laughing even harder than before

>get to crushes table

>she laughs and claps

>fucking clapping

>for me

>powerwalk even faster now

>power power walk

>continue the same bathroom lunch scarf combined with cafeteria powertrolling

>do this for a full week

>a week turns into a month

>friends laugh less and less each time

>people ignore me more and more each time

>start to get discouraged

>but every time I do it I get to hear her

>her voice, her laughter

>the only thing that keeps me going

>I must commit to the troll, that’s what truly makes it epic, quitting now will only make it a weird thing I did instead of trolling.

>continue my meme rampage

>eventually start power walking everywhere because eyes are always on me and I must keep up the act, no one can see me break character

>every day at lunch I make my rounds

>friends are silent, sometimes they ask if I could just sit with them that day

>nothing stops the troll

>hips get buff and athletic from the half hour of speed walking every day

>friends eventually stop hanging out with me, a little at first then all together

>now they won’t talk to me

>no one will

>feel like I’m in this weird limbo where I can’t stop because if I do then I lost my friends all for nothing and I will just be simply forgotten

>start to dread my troll rounds more each day

>feel like I’m doing this all without wanting to

>like my free will is gone.

>just a puppet, yanked into position by feelings of self inflicted obligation

>the strings pull my face into a contorted form to make a trollface

>I don’t even want to do this anymore

>sometimes I skip on eating lunch in the bathroom just to have a panic attack

>but still I walk

>and still I smile

>because the show must go on

>even when no one wants me to, including myself.

>but at least there’s that one thing.
>her laughter

>the small pin print of light in this inky veil of darkness that has become this charade of performance that is my life

>at least she likes me

>at least she wants to see it

>eventually it has become last lunch period of the year

>doing my rounds, same as normal legs sore from a year of constantly being in a hurry

>get to crushes table

>trollfaceactivated.jpg

>“problem?” i say

>crush doesn’t respond, just looking down at her phone texting

>feel like they didn’t hear me. I hold the troll face scoot a step forward and say it again

>“problem?”

>no reaction from anyone

>still holding trollface, starting to get nervous and embarrassed

>“problem?” I say louder scooting closer to her

>nothing

> “pro-“

>“oh my god annon can you shut the fuck up and go away? You’re so annoying”

>a world breaking rush of cold shock hits my frail mortal body, one that is so intense I can’t process it at once and I freeze in that cold

>“problem?” i say, now not cheery, but sounding confused

>guy sitting next to her stands up “dude she said to go away stop bothering her” not even in an intimidating way just sticking up for her

>my brain is broken, my face is frozen in a trollface

>“problem?” i ask loudly and nervous, sweat beading up on my forehead

>“yeah I think we do have a problem” the guy says, now intimidatingly.

>“problem” I nervously shreak out while holding the trollface. Part of the lunchroom turns to look at the scene going down

>the guy shakes his head which makes me think she’s just going to ignore me

>shoves me out of nowhere

>fly into the other table and collapse it, causing all the people’s food to fall on me

>lunchroom laughs at me

>entire groups of people standing up from their seats, some ON their seats to look at me

>their joy filled faces as the annoying weirdo who harassed people for months on end just got what everyone wished for

>crush is laughing and taking pictures

>friend group also laughing at me, patting eachother on the back and pointing

>heart shatters into subatomic particles

>go through the process of jokerfication to ironic joker, to reformed joker, and back to joker, over and over again in a single second

>finally realize I’m alive and I panic

>run out of the lunchroom, drop out of school immedietly never see any of them in person again.

>few years later I get my GED

>join the army because I want to be tough and have felt pathetic for years

>join as an 11B because I want to do the toughest job to prove to myself and the entire school of people who lived in my head for so long

>and realize it’s just an abuse factory from processing to basic training to being at your unit

> abuse just never stops

>get deployed to syria, sit in the desert for 9 months

>once on patrol we take small arms fire for 30 seconds

>the entire “fire fight” was trying to figure out which direction it was coming from

>eventually it stops, we vacate, and A-10s fly in and steamroll the entire area in ordinance just because of one guy shooting

>realize this war is just a performance for the US military and show off to exude dominance along with advertising defense contractors with charades like this

>also oil

>get my CIB, get out, able to get 80% disability from my back and mental health, able to get free therapy for it and use the money to live on my own while I work towards getting a personal training certification

>live a few years on the checks before working at my job full time, using that money for extra income

>enjoying life pretty well, find old fellow students on social media

>crush is some medium instagram model/ influencer, also taking pictures in LA and Miami with her nails and hair all done

>old friends work at startups and IT firms

>living life now, having left the past behind, luckily I forgot it. Helping using my Infantryman fitness experience to help others get fit but with the abuse part replaced with positive fun

>wake up one morning, my day off

>surfing reddit as I always do

>see cringey post about some idiot running around his lunchroom with a troll face

>ohgodwhy.jpg

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6gveh

I spy on my girlfriend when she is drunk

So my girlfriend likes to go out for drinks after work during the week at times when she has the following day or two off (she does shift work in a hotel). Our schedules are pretty different, as I usually work from home around 3pm-12am so we dont get out much for social drinks.

She very much has a routine when she gets home. Make food, go to bed, turn TV on, pass out. A few months ago we moved into a new house, in which my office is now right beside our bedroom (as opposed to being downstairs in our old house) and one of the nights when she got back as I was finishing up work I heard light moans coming from the bedroom. I first thought it was just the TV but decided to listen a bit harder. Nope I could hear music coming from the TV but every so often I would hear a light moan again. I quietly opened my office door and stood next to our bedroom door which was slightly ajar and listened. She was 100% getting herself off and using the TV to mask the noise but I could hear it clearly. It was honestly hot as hell. I decided to walk into the room to try and "catch her" and she if it led anywhere but when I walked in she quickly pulled her hand out from under the covers and was like "what's up?", I asked if she needed anything and she just said a glass of water.

Fast forward a few weeks and pretty much the exact same thing happens, and again a few weeks later. This is totally a thing she likes to do, get herself off when shes drunk. Everytime she comes home now after shes drunk, I sit and listen at the door or beside the wall and jack off if I hear her going at it. It's honestly the hottest shit ever knowing she is getting off at the same time. I decided to go one step further oncr and set up an actual camera. Nothing crazy, I just charged up an old phone and stuffed it in a drawer with a small crack and used it as a remote webcam and it worked like a charm. I was now watching her get off directly and I'm not going to lie it was by far the hottest jerk I've ever had in my life.

I felt terrible using a camera though. It's one thing to listen and overhear, it's another to actively watch someone without their permission so I wont be using it again so instead I decided to stash the phone behind the bed as an audio only so I could just listen better instead going forward. So yeah, I'm a sleazy scumbag who gas a voyeur fetish now I guess.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q6ge1p