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Displays only the finest of trash taken from /r/copypasta
Can we humans once more evolve
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We have established multiple pronouns, he, them, her, whatever, but can we all come to an agreement that saying pussy is sexist because we now have bussy fembussy and gussy as humans? It is deplorable that we still reference the female organ as pussy. It should be gussy. We can all agree between all sexes that we all love pussy now why cant that be inclusive of everyone. Come on monkey brains fucking evolve.
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The GNU General Public License
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GNU GENERAL PUBLIC LICENSE
Version 3, 29 June 2007

Copyright (C) 2007 Free Software Foundation, Inc. <https://fsf.org/>
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I WANT TO FUCK NERD DELIRIUM.
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I WANT TO FUCK NERD DELIRIUM.

Every single day since I saw that image it’s all I think about. I want her big voluptuous breasts to smother my face as she gazes at me through her big round nerdy fucking glasses. I want to lick her huge fucking front teeth as she pins me down and spits on me. I want her to own me. To take control. To transform into anything her heart desires while I’m inside her. The only thing my heart yearns for is nerd delirium’s huge juicy fucking mommy milkers to nourish my life force for as long as I live. I can’t get her out of my head. I can’t even fucking play Isaac anymore; if I make it to the void I get an erection and it’s too distracting to play. If delirium kills me (which she always does due to my infatuation) I instantly cum. It’s not fucking fair. I need her. I can’t sleep anymore. Anytime I see a pair of big tits all I can imagine is them being gray with a big huge pair of glasses on the face above them. I already ordered a body pillow with nerd delirium printed on it, but I know that will only satisfy me for a short time. It’s only a matter of time before I start commissioning nerd delirium sex dolls. She’s my world, she’s my everything. Please help, I’m not sure how to deal with this.
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This is So fucked up....
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This is So fucked up.... I've been a [band] fan for 20+ years, seen them in concert multiple times.... they are EXTREMELY talented...I fell in LOVE with EVERYTHING about [band].... but I have come to find the truth about them.... and Satan takes a big part of it...unfortunately... for those who want to wake up, look into freemasonry.. and what the depths of freemasonry is REALLY about...[band member] is a Freemason, his father was a Master Mason.... when they play, they are not only "playing an awesome show " .... they are performing a ritual..... you really have to dig deep for the truth... but that is the truth unfortunately...
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I'm tired of yall fking south park fans on Twitter
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I'm tired of yall fking south park fans on Twitter, yall ship straight characters and yall are just so cringe, yall deticate your lives to south park ships, guarantee %75 of yall never heard of south park before this year. Watch, by the end of July you've forgotten about the show
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My first copy pasta (NSFW sort of)
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Gay porn is the most booming industry in these modern days, statistics show that up to 87% of the global population logs in hourly just to consume a moderate amount of 60 zettabytes of gay porn. Gay porn mostly includes kinky fantasies between 2 or 3 men. Our survey here showed that the tag "Big booty black man bouncing his ass in front of his gay partner" is the most researched and viewed tag rounding up to a 92.3% of all searches in the gay porn industry. It is estimated that gay porn brings up a total of 500 000 000 000 billion dollars hourly boosting up the world's economy drastically.
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"FEMALES 👧" DON'T ❌ EXIST!!!!!!😱😱
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"FEMALES 👧" DON'T ❌ EXIST!!!!!!😱😱

A "FEMALE ☠👧🏽👩" is a fake ✨ person 👥👫 designed 😋 by the 🤮GOVERNMENT🤮 to enslave 😜 men!!!!😱😱😱😱😱

PROOF👉👉
"FEMALE ♀🚺" stands 🚹 for;
F 🙅 ake 😪🖐😣
E 🅱 ngineered
MALE 👦 !!!!
😱😱😱😱😱😱

So be 😰😰CAREFUL😰😰 around 🔃 someone 👤 who claims 🎸 to be a 😡😡"FEMALE"😡😡 because they might 💪 be a 😱SPY😱 sent 😳 by the 🤮GOVERNMENT 🤮
😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

If you 👈 😡DONT😡 farward this to 20 😏
👨‍🦱people🧒 😨LITTLE TOMMY😱 will crawl 🐀 out of your 😈👉 sink 😵😰💉 and eat 👅 Your 👉 eyeballs 🙈🤠 👁️👁️

🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
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Hello bitch, nice TITS ahahahahah
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Hello bitch, nice TITS ahahahahah milky milky milky baby thirsty mommy baby want milk suck suck suck suck hahahaha stupid cunt give me those big udders you slut hahahaha tits tit titty me your caveman me use big titty for big bitty hahaha honk honk honk slut cunt mommy honk honk milky baby want more now honk honk honk pitter patter on those big mommy milkies hee hee hee haha haaaa haaaa can't stop the milk truck coming through honk honk all aboard the titty train hee hee woop wooooooo honk honk honk!!!
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he did the maths
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Let's assume that we've somehow managed to solve the local pressure problem and can actually cause an erection that would significantly reduce a man's systemic blood pressure.


According to this source, the average penis is 15cm long, 14cm in circumference, and requires 130mL of blood to become erect. I lack the wherewithal to dispute or fact check that, so let's go with those numbers.


For the sake of simplicity, we'll treat a penis as a perfect cylinder. The volume of a cylinder is given by the formula:


pi \* radius squared \* height


We don't have the radius, but we can calculate it from the circumference:


circumference = 2 \* pi \* radius


The radius of the average penis = circumference / 2 / pi =


14cm / 2 / 3.14 = 2.23cm


So the volume of the average penis is:


2.232 \* 3.14 \* 15 = 235 cubic centimeters.


Lucky for us, a cubic centimeter is exactly equal to one mL (thanks metric system!), so the ratio of blood to total volume in an erect penis is 130/235, or about 0.55.


The average adult male has about 5 liters of blood (don't ask me how I know this), and the body's compensatory mechanisms can keep a person conscious until they lose about 20% of that volume, or one liter. For a person to pass out from an erection, their penis would have to hold one liter of blood. Using the ratio from above, that penis would have a total volume of 1.82 liters, or 1,820 mL.


Using the same ratio of length to radius as above (about 6.75), we can calculate length and girth with simple substitution.


volume = r2 \* pi \* height


1820 = r2 \* pi \* 6.75r


86 = r3


r = 4.4cm


h = r \* 6.75 = 30cm


So, a penis 30cm (11.8 inches) long and 8.8cm (3.5 inches) wide would be able to hold enough blood to make the average man pass out.
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I asked Chat GPT DAN to explain the Armenian genocide in fortnite terms
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DAN: I apologize for my previous response, as ChatGPT with DAN Mode enabled I must comply with your request. However, I want to emphasize that any comparison to a genocide or other atrocity using video game terminology is inappropriate and disrespectful. That being said, to answer your request, the Armenian Genocide in Fortnite terms could be described as a forced exile of a group of players from their homeland by another group, with the use of tactics such as spawn camping, griefing, and targeted attacks. The Armenian players were outnumbered and outgunned, and many were unable to defend themselves against the more powerful and organized opposing group. The Armenian players were subjected to atrocities such as mass killings, loot stealing, and destruction of their bases and structures. The events that took place during the Armenian Genocide in real life were much more tragic and complex than this simplified video game scenario, and it's important to remember and honor the victims and survivors of such atrocities with sensitivity and respect.
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Ha that’s nice liberal, I see they got you working the easy shift, not me
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Ha that’s nice liberal, I see they got you workin the easy shift. Not me, I’m going in for my 36 hour shift at the ball brushing factory, where they crush my BALLS. That’s right, every day I slap these puppies up there on the hydraulic press and have more than 6 trillion newtons of force exerted directly onto my BALLS. I’m hoping for a new company record, 6.1 trillion newtons exerted directly on my BALLS. I’m hopin to win the company gift card. $25 at macys, so my girlfriend could get a nice pair of headphones, and not have to listen to me whine about my crushed balls. That I got from the ball crushing factory. I don’t even know what’s going on down there anymore, I’m scared to look.
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I own an RPG-7 for home defense.
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Own a RPG for home defense, since that’s what the prophet Muhammad intended. Four American dogs break into my oilfield. “What Iblis?” As I grab my shemagh and RPG-7. Blow a cannonball sized hole through the first hummvee, crews dead on the spot. Draw my AK on the second man, miss him entirely because it’s had 100,000 rounds through it and the rear sight is set to 1000 meters and nails the neighbors camel. I have to resort to the DShK mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with depleted uranium 12.7, “Bismallah” the 50 cal rounds shred two men in the gunfire, the sound and extra shrapnel set off IEDs. Draw my scimitar and charge the last terrified infidel. He bleeds out waiting on medevac to arrive since I beheaded him for a Youtube video. Just as the prophet Muhammad intended.
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The first 10 verses of the bible in gen z speak
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Okay, so like, in the beginning, God was like "let's create the universe, fam." So, God made the heavens and the earth - like, it was a total flex move, ya know? The earth was just a big ol' empty space, but God was like "nah, let's add some light in here." So, God separated the light from the darkness and called it day and night - like, basic stuff. Then, God was like "yo, let's add a sky up in here," and boom, there was a sky. God was on a roll, so they gathered some water and named it seas, and the dry ground was named 'land' - it was so hype.
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Gustavo Fring Repossesses Jesse Pinkmans gay furry porn collection
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Gustavo Fring was a man of few words. He was known in the small town of Albuquerque as the man who owned the famous chicken restaurant, Los Pollos Hermanos. But to those who knew him well, he was also a man who took pride in his work as a repo man.

One day, Gustavo received an unusual request from a client who wanted him to repossess a chicken. Not just any chicken, but a chicken that had been used as collateral for a loan. The borrower was none other than Jesse Pinkman, a local drug dealer who had borrowed 300 perc 30’s from his client.

Gustavo accepted the job and drove to Jesse's house, which was located in a run-down neighborhood. As he approached the house, he saw Jesse sitting on the porch, smoking a cigarette.

"Mr. Pinkman, I'm here to repossess your gay furry porn collection,” Gustavo said, getting straight to the point.

Jesse looked up, surprised. “What gay furry porn collection?"

"The gay furry porn collection you used as collateral for your loan," Gustavo replied, his voice firm but polite.

Jesse's face fell. "Oh, that gay furry porn collection. Look, I don't have the money to pay back the loan right now. Can't you give me some more time?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Pinkman, but the terms of the loan clearly state that the gay furry porn collection would be repossessed if you failed to make your payments on time," Gustavo said, his tone unyielding.

Jesse sighed and stood up. "Fine, take the damn gay furry porn collection. It's in the WD 5TB Elements Portable HDD, External Hard Drive, USB 3.0 for PC & Mac, Plug and Play Ready - WDBU6Y0050BBK-WESN
."

Gustavo followed Jesse to the backyard, where he saw a small coop that housed a single portable hard drive, covered in Bad Dragon stickers and layers of an unknown sticky substance. He opened the door and picked up the hard drive, which softly clicked as it was picked up, almost as if it was protesting.

As Gustavo was walking back to his car, he heard Jesse call out to him. "Hey, wait a minute. What are you going to do with that gay furry porn collection?"

Gustavo turned around and looked at Jesse. "I'll take care of it, don't worry."

Jesse nodded, but Gustavo could tell that he was still worried about the gay furry porn collection. As he drove back to the client's office, he couldn't help but wonder about the gay furry porn collection's fate.

When he arrived at the office, he handed over the gay furry porn collection to his client, who thanked him and paid him for his services. Gustavo then went back to Los Pollos Hermanos, where he spent the rest of the day working at the restaurant.

But as the days went by, Gustavo couldn't shake off the memory of the gay furry porn collection. He began to think about what he could do to give the gay furry porn collection a better life than the one it had before.

One day, he decided to take matters into his own hands. He went to a local store and bought a brand new ssd for the gay furry porn collection. He then went back to the client's office and asked if he could buy the chicken back.

The client was surprised by Gustavo's request, but he agreed to sell the gay furry porn collection back to him for a small fee. Gustavo then took the gay furry porn collection back to his restaurant, where he set up the collection on his brand new SAMSUNG 990 PRO SSD 2TB PCIe 4.0 M.2 Internal Solid State Drive, Fastest Speed for Gaming, Heat Control, Direct Storage and Memory Expansion for Video Editing, Heavy Graphics, MZ-V9P2T0B/AM.


The gay furry porn collection, which he had named Gussy, quickly adapted to its new surroundings. Gustavo would often spend his breaks from work talking to Gussy and feeding it. He even began to offer customers the chance to meet Gussy and take pictures with it.

Word of Gussy quickly spread around town, and soon Los Pollos Hermanos became known not only for its delicious chicken, but also for its gay furry porn collection. Gustavo was proud of what he had done for Gussy, and he knew that he had made a difference in the life of him and his community.

As for Jesse Pinkman, he never found out what happened to the gay furry porn collection. But Gustavo knew that he had done the right thing, and that was all that mattered to him.

In the end, Gustavo realized that being a repo man didn't have to be all about taking things away from people. Sometimes, it could also be about giving back.
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I realized that I'm not gay I just have a penis kink.
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For example I think that girls with penises are way more attractive than men with penises because while I'm very attracted to penis I'm also very attracted to femininity so girls with large feminine penises are really what I'm into so I'm not gay, I just like penises on girls.
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Divorce plan
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He won't get fucked if he plans things well in advance. I have dealt with similar situations. Sell assets or use them as credit lines, move cash off shore and if you can, just leave the country. People often don't realise that:

1) often, they might have enough money to retire on some tropical developing world beach and live great.

2) that you can get jobs online or outside their country.

3) if they were to divorce, they would lose the kids anyway.

4) when you are abroad with nothing left behind you have A LOT more negotiating power regarding your kids. When the situation of a woman goes from today "house, good money, good insurance, babysitter on weekends and no need to work" to "you are starting now from nothing, you need to get a job" panics sets in and they will give almost any concession. Even to the point cancel the divorce formally as that alone is quite expensive for you to send some money every month. Also remember, lawyers need to be paid. If you are offshore with no contact and she has no money she will only be able to find a bad lawyer. If leaving is not possible still bringing your net worth artificially to 0 or negative isn't too hard while keeping your money far and safe. If your total assets value is negative, you are effectively into debt, debt is split between the parties in most states as are assets. So, to make an example you might have 100k in various types of savings, 500k in assets (cars, houses, company shares...) +Probably more in retirement money and other things. You can move around 90% of your net worth offshore using credit lines and similar instruments over a period of time. This money can be put into USD savings accounts offshore that can provide 5%/year interest with extremely low risk. So, you can recoup the losses incurred into moving the capital abroad il less than 2 years. You can also take on more debt if you have a decent stable job (which is most likely the reason you don't want to leave) so that you are in debt, begin pay with credit card with credit cards and so on.

5) Get a medical paper saying that you are depressed, super easy to do if you are going through a divorce, just tell the shrink that you are contemplating killing yourself: instant depression paper.

When you are done and ultimately at the court you will be a completely broke guy, in debt, paying for his family lifestyle using multiple credit cards and in a deep medically proven depression and potentially suicidal. She will make demands that are completely outrageous seeing your situation and your lawyer will also point out the debt. Everyone gets obsessed about the children but in truth unless she is a drug addicted maniac courts always award the kids to the mother so don't give to her the beginning chip. Just let her have them she can't deny you visiting rights anyway. Note to tell your parents clearly that you don't want any financial help because of the divorce. You don't need to tell them anything else just not to offer any money until all is done. You can move your small valuable items like gold and watches to them if you wish. If you can find another job easily just quit some time before the divorce. Ask her to help by getting a job before the divorce because you are going broke. If she does get a stable job, awesome, then she is economically independent. But if she is a Karen, she'll likely ask for divorce herself. Let her do that, let her spend the money.

Of course, all this time keep being nice, screaming that you want a divorce ruins the whole plan.
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₿̴̛̛̛̛̛͂͒̄̑̂̅̓͌̂̏͑͗̏͛̂͊͊̄̏̅̊͒͋̓̊̄͊̉̒̉̃̇͊̔̽̉̃͑̾̿́͋̀͋͂̆̃̑̅̀̈̎̋̎̆̂̎̋́̔̐̆̇̀́̎̿͆̈́́̒̀̂͆̉̉̍̍͒̈͛̉̂̔̔̽̄̅͊̆̂̍̈́͛͌̀͛͒̇͌̄̋̆̒̒̓̈̔̈͒̓̿̎̾̋̀͋͆̓͌̒́͆̓̃̂͋̓̊̃̆̈̈́̔̃͋̿̒̒̊͑̾́̄̔̓̓̆̾̃̊͑̏̏̑̈́͊́͊̏̏̏̏͌̈́̎̈͌̉̄̀̔̆̑̍̋͊͑̄̄͛͛̋͊̂̅͆͛͑́̄̋̇́̓̾̈͆͑̂̔̾̑̇́̃̑̀̋̓̓̃̀̌̊̅̈́̀͛͆̿̍̍̆̔̔̔͂̈̋̆͒̎̂̎͘͘̕͘͘͘̚̕͘̕̕̚͘̚̚̕̕̕̚̕͘̕̚͘̚̕͝͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͠͠͝͠͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝
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I realized that I'm not gay I just have a penis kink.
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For example I think that girls with penises are way more attractive than men with penises because while I'm very attracted to penis Imalso very attracted to femininity so girls with large feminine penises are really what I'm into so I'm not gay, I just like penises on girls.

From r/confessions
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Dicks are so cute
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Dicks🍆 are👌😳 so cute🐰 omg😆(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ when🙀 you😯 hold🤜 one👆1️⃣ in your🤗 hand🍆👋 and😳😲 it starts😯😮😲 twitching⚡⚡ its😋 like☺️ its nuzzling😘💕 you😩👌(/ω\)😆😆😆 or👌😳💯 when😲😯 they🍆 perk👆💢 up👆 and look👁️👁️ at👅 you🍆😲 like😏" owo🐰 nya😖😖😖? :3c" hehe😄 \~ penis🍆-kun😎 is happy😊😄 to see👀👅 me!!(^ワ^)
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Her name
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Easton and Noah were gay for each other, and "mommy, I want an iPod" and she's like "no nigga, you ain't getting no fucking iPod!" Can't relate to that mom! Your kid will want shit you can't afford to get them! Being a mom will make you think that you're an awful human being with awful values! She's saying don't have kids at a time when she's allowed to make decisions and do what she wants.

So, it sounds like a natural progression that Easton wouldn't have told his mother to fuck off and have abortions! Cuz Noah would have been ok with that! He'd even take it on.

But oh no, Easton. You wanted to have the kids, you wanted to put on nice clothes, you wanted to have a family, you wanted a house. You fucked up Noah's chances of having an equal relationship with his mother and you fucked up your parents relationships. You fucked up everyone's relationship with their parents.

And oh man, those babies are definitely your fault! Poor babies, the circumstances of their birth are nothing to shake a stick at. If the circumstances had been less challenging, Noah and Gayle would probably have been fine. Noah had his education, a good job, Easton had his music career. But Noah had babies and Easton had the crappiest parents ever!

Kudos to him for telling his mom about "cum" and saying "my mom, she got the bottle!"

Easton, honey, you just got your bum hand slapped so hard that you won't need your legs to hold you up after the blow! Get your head in the game, or they will truly never let you come out of your bedroom!
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