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STOP STOP STOP I HATE HIM I HATE HIM. EVERY GODDAMN POST I SEE ANYMORE IS JUST “oh John pork is calling lol lol answer…” “John pork is at your doorstep oh hahahahah1!” SHUT THE FUCK UP I SWEAR TO GOD. Before you say “oh stop using social media… oh stop this stop that…” THIS STUPID HUMAN PIG KEEPS SHOWING UP IN EVERY FUCKING ASPECT OF MY MISERABLE LIFE. MY “””Friends””” WONT STOP SPAMMING ME WITH THIS STUPID FUCKING PIG EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DREADFUL DAY. IVE TOLD THEM I HATE HIM BUT THAT SEEMS TO MAKE THEM SEND HIM EVEN MORE. WHEN I LEAST EXPECT IT, THIS ABSOLUTE HELL OF AN OVERUSED MEME GETS THROWN INTO MY INBOX AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT.

I CANNOT GO A SINGLE MINUTE WITHOUT SEEING HIS FACE. I HATE JOHN PORK SO MUCH, HE IS SO UNCANNY, HE MAKES ME SO UNCOMFORTABLE AND HE IS TEXTBOOK DEFINITION OF AN OVERUSED MEME. I swear I’m starting to develop a genuine fear of this pig guy because when I see him my fight or flight gets triggered. His face is ABOMINABLE and a MOCKERY OF HUMAN INTENTIONS. That smug smile and his eyes staring deep into my soul is enough to make me shiver in fear. I FUCKING HATE JOHNATHAN PORK I HATE HIM. JOHN PORK IS A DUMB MEME AND I HOPE MY FRIENDS STOP SENDING HIM.

So, imagine you're playing Among Us with your crewmates and suddenly you get a special mission to take down the imposter. But this isn't just any imposter - it's like, the biggest, baddest imposter of them all, like Osama Bin Laden. You and your crewmates are determined to complete the mission, but you can't help feeling a little nervous.

As you and your team make your way through the map, you start to encounter some obstacles. But with your cute little pets by your side, you know you can overcome anything! You navigate past tricky tasks and sneak past other crewmates, all while staying focused on your mission.

Finally, you and your crewmates find the imposter's hideout. It's a little bit scary, but you know you can handle it. You and your team work together to take down the imposter using all of your cute little gadgets and strategies. You're darting around the map, completing tasks and dodging danger with your adorable little pets by your side.

And then, suddenly, you've done it - you've eliminated the imposter! You and your crewmates celebrate with some cute little animations and maybe a dance or two. You feel so proud of yourselves for completing such a difficult mission.

As you make your way back to the safety of the main map, you can't help feeling a little bit giddy. You can't believe you actually did it - you took down the biggest imposter in the game! You and your crewmates exchange some cute little high-fives and maybe even some virtual hugs.

Looking back on the experience, you realize that it was a challenging and exciting mission. But you also know that you and your crewmates worked together and had a lot of fun while completing it. It's like when you play Among Us with your favorite cute pets and you all have a great time - it's a feeling of pure joy and cuteness!

Hello Steam Support! I fuck all of your mothers and fathers, and I hope you get cancer and ebola for not unlocking my account. I wish your doctor died of the Corona virus, and I fuck everything that you love. If you don't unlock my account, I hope your kids die of cancer, ebola, and the Corona virus. I also want to wish you a Merry Christmas because this is the day your mother will die, and this will bring you bad luck, fuck your sister, and everything that you love with your doctor, mother, and motherfucking dogs. You are crying for 15 euros; you want to ban me from having dogs? no problem, you dont know me, i take airpolane and i know your location my dad interlop in romania gypsy country, dont woryr about anything.  I know your name if I see you on the street. Sa moara mama ca te tai ai inteles?
Fuck your sister and everything that you love, and your mother and your father and everything, your kids, your grandparent's dead parents, go die in hell and go play Minecraft. No steam is good for you, and you cry for 15 euros. I hope your daughter gets raped by 17 niggas. Because you know that niggas talk about guns but never shoot them, well, I shot you in the nigga fucking motherfucker face, and you die of cancer and ebola, and everything that you love with your steam supports niggas that are my slaves, and you guys are toilet cleaners and homeless people that live in channels.

First of all, let's talk about the fucking ridiculous prices of these goddamn things. You're telling me that I have to shell out hundreds of fucking dollars for a pair of headphones that are specifically designed for gaming? Are you fucking kidding me? It's like these companies think that gamers are just a bunch of rich assholes with nothing better to do than blow their money on overpriced bullshit.

And don't even get me started on the fucking design of these things. They look like something a goddamn cyborg would wear, with their glowing LEDs and aggressive angles. Is it really necessary to look like a fucking transformer just to play a goddamn video game? I mean, who the fuck are you trying to impress with those things?

And let's not forget about the goddamn sound quality. Sure, they may be designed for gaming, but that doesn't mean they sound any fucking better than a regular pair of headphones. In fact, I bet most of these companies just slap on some fancy branding and charge you an arm and a leg for the same shitty sound quality you could get from a cheaper pair of headphones.

So, there you have it, my offensive essay on gaming headphones. If you're still considering dropping your hard-earned cash on one of these overpriced pieces of shit, then you're a goddamn fool. Save your money and invest in something that's actually worth it, like a good pair of fucking running shoes or a decent bottle of whiskey

I'm gonna ring your mom's doorbell. She's not gonna answer it at first because she sees a tall black man. But she peeps through the peephole that I got peanut butter complexion, so everything's going to be all right! I'm gonna have the pizza box, and be like, " Excuse me ma'am, did you order pizza? " She's gonna look at me up and down, see the abs chiseling and busting through the UnderArmour? See the BBC slightly protruded to the left? And just PULL me in. The pizza box flies, she said, " W-Wait a minute, there's no pizza? " I said, " We-Well, you just pulled me in the house! " Throws me on the couch. Gets on her knees, grabs one fist, grabs another. Gives me a double-stack because I got the BBC. Starts sucking, twerking, twisting, and I'm like, " Ouugh! Ouhhh! Aghhhhhhh! "

Portobello mushrooms contain a decently
large amount of agaritine, which can be made
in to hydrazine, which can in turn be used for
explosives or rocket fuel. Agaritine is also
fairly cancerous/mutagenic to humans

Welcome to Ammunation! You’ve made the smartest decision of your life. You’ve come to a gun shop.


We hope you get everything you need to feel real manly and patriotic. Don’t forget to check out our selection of landmines. They’re the gift that keeps on giving, year after year. Mother in law bein’ a bitch? Ammunation has the solution! Why not check out our selection of flamethrowers?
We’ve got a special on hand grenades. And if you’re too fat and lazy to throw em, check out our grenade launchers! Pop it in, pull the trigger, and BOOM! You’ve blown a hole in something.

Sign up today for your Ammunation Frequent Sniper Card! Buy 10 guns and your next one is on us! Thanks for visiting Ammunation.


At Ammunation, we don’t need a background check. A wad of American currency, conflict diamonds, or your daughter is enough!


The store leading the fight against communism is having a blowout sale! Ammunation has a wide array of peacemakers! Come by Ammunation on Militia Mondays and exercise your 2nd Amendment rights and get 10% off all armor piercing bullets!

We’re the only gun store that lets you try it before you buy it. Need anti-tank missiles? We’ve got em. Flamethrowers? Oh yeah! No credit, no problem! 90 days, same as cash. Shoot now, pay later.

During the 10 minute waiting period, fire off a few rounds in the Ammunation gun range!

Come by Ammunation and register to win an anti-aircraft gun actually used when we whooped Australia’s ass!

My name is Walter Hartwell white, and this is my confession. I really love furries. Something about that fat juicy FUCKING fursuit makes me want to cum, and no this isn't a joke. I do really like furries they are really cute and HOT. Sometimes I stick a butt plug up my muscular rectum for pleasure it just feels really feel good. I have loved furries ever since I was 5, their fursuit has an appeal and sometimes I like to stick my hands up my ass, and sometimes and act like I'm scratching something. and I really wanna fuck any animal with fur. This has been my most secretest secret for a few secret 23 years. I will always love furries they are so fucking HOT, cute and sexy, and I just love those cute little suit paws of theirs, and their sexy growls and butt plugs this is my confession of a furry lover.

Yo Yo Yo its hump day! What I need you to do is tag 3 big dick ass niggas under this tweet right here. I need some more niggas to do this ‘Bust That Nut’ challenge with. And I’m also giving away another hunit free subscriptions to my only fans. Be looking out for that tweet later on today. Don’t forget to tag them 3 niggas out there. If you one of them big dick niggas, tag yaself! Hump Day! Fuck with ya boy! Nude Barber!

🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕
🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕
🌕🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑🌑🌔
🌕🌕🌕🌗👁️🌑👁️🌓
🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑👄🌑🌔
🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌕
🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑🌑🌒🌕
🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑🌑🌓🌕
🌕🌕🌘🌑🌕🌑🌓🌕
🌕🌖🌑🌒🌕🌑🌓🌕
🌕🌗🌑🌔🌕🌑🌓🌕
🌕🌘🌑🌕🌕🌑🌓🌕
🌕🌑🌒🌕🌕🌑🌓🌕
🌖🌑🌕🌕🌕🌑🌓🌕
🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕

I have a dream, that one day where every person on the internet will have genuine happiness. The internet of the TRULY happy, dammit. The internet oh happiness, not chaos, run by wholesome, not Twitter! Where the internet changes to suit the wholesome, not the other way around. Where happiness and wholesome are back in the hands of the people! Where every person is free to smile--to live--to love for them self! Fuck these limp-dick degenerates, fuck these chickenshit websites. Fuck this 24/7 internet spew of hentai and pornstar bullshit! Fuck being horny! Fuck the media! FUCK ALL OF IT! The internet is diseased. Rotten to the core. There's no saving it, we need to delete it by the roots. Wipe the internet clean. BURN IT DOWN! And from the ashes, a new internet will be born, happy, but UNHORNY! The horny will be purged and the wholesome will thrive- free to live as they see fit, they will make the internet great again! . . . In my new internet, people will happy and wholesome for what they WISH! Not for horny. Not for porn! Not for what they are told feels good. Every person will be free to MAKE THEIR OWN HAPPINESS!

I think skyblock at its core is the ultimate challenge in resource management

you spawn in a tiny island in an empty universe

all you have is a tree some supplies and some dirt to stand on

you have to treasure every dirt block because if one falls into the void there's no way to replace it

and as you carefully navigate your circumstance you gain a new appreciation for the few things you have

and you meticulously use them to their fullest effect

with nothing but some ice, lava, saplings you slowly transform this empty expanse into a world of your very own

Skyblock teaches us that no matter how ridiculous the odds may seem within us resides the power to overcome these challengesand achieve something beautiful

that one day we'l look back at where we started and be amazed by how far we've come

\------------------------------------------------------------Technoblade 2019---------------------------------------------------------------

Our moon is so useless and pathetic compared to all of the cool moons out there in the solar system. While so much other moons have all these cool features, all our Moon did was hit us, and then get a free ride orbiting us for a few billion years.

Europa is such a cool moon, that it could potentially have liquid water underneath. The gravitational effects of its planet Jupiter, and some of Jupiter's other Moons (including Ganymede, a moon so sick, it is bigger than the planet Mercury, and almost as big as Mars; Callisto, another huge ass moon bigger than ours, one that might even have water as well; and Io, a pizza coloured moon with fucking sulfuric volcanoes) cause internal movement for the body, meaning there might not only be the biggest ocean currently known in the universe there, but it could very well have geothermic vents. Geothermic vents mean that there could potentially be life there! Our stupid ass moon can't do none of that shit, it's just barren.

How about Titan? Easily the biggest moon of Saturn, it is so big its gravity helps Saturn's smaller moons from crashing into the ringed planet - it is literally saving their lives! Could our moon do that? Nah, it's too pathetic to do anything of the sort. Not only that, but it is the only moon with a proper greenhouse effect going on, it literally has an atmosphere, and oceans made out of liquid methane (and some scientists think there might even be water). Could our moon have an atmosphere? The flimsy little dust bubble it has around it hardly counts, it's so shit.

Look at our friend Triton. It was a dwarf planet in its own right, and not only any dwarf planet, but the largest one, bigger than Pluto and Eris. However, the poor thing was brutally captured by Neptune, and is now in a orbit around the planet, going the opposite way from the other moons to show its uniqueness. It also has geysers that throw out gaseous nitrogen that it carries around in it, creating its own atmosphere, and making it one of the 4 places in the solar system with known geological activity, apart from the Earth, Io and Saturn's Enceladus (that motherfucker is covered in fresh ice and it's of the shiniest things in the solar system, cos it erupts water vapour). Could OUR moon have geological activity? Of fucking course not.

Even Charon is cooler than the moon, and it doesn't even orbit a real planet. Its around half the size of Pluto, and its so massive, it actually makes Pluto wobble around a point outside of Pluto itself, making it more of a duo-planetary system then a moon. It affects the environment so much scientists say that the other moons, rather than orbiting Pluto, orbit a Pluto-Charon system. Can our tiny-ass moon do that? No it can't.

So anyways, fuck the moon.

“What is sex👅👀?”

Johnny👨‍🦱♂️ got up and said:

“Sex is a 😏temptation😏

Caused by a 😩sensation😩

Where a boy 👨‍🦱♂️ sticks his 🍆location🍆

Into a girl’s 💁‍♀️♀️ 🍑destination🍑

To increase the 👨‍👩‍👧population👨‍👩‍👦

Of the next ➡️ 👶generation👶

Did you get my ☝️👏explanation👏?

Or do you need 😩💦 a

👅🍆🍑💦Demonstration👅🍆🍑💦?

The teacher👩‍🏫🏫 fainted 😱

They are taking young men and not giving them proper substance, instead, turning them gay. These men are giving themselves away for drugs and letting people think they were straight. You are at the risk of being crucified just for having too much gay fluid in your throat and blood. If you have even an ounce of the spicy stuff in your body, there is no way you are straight. Yet, the gay men are so hungry for everything, even the subtle sexual innuendos. And the most important thing is that your blood is so polluted from having lots of sexual fluids, that when it comes time to come, you will be showing symptoms of HIV/AIDS. Everybody keeps saying that getting HIV from someone of the same sex isn't a death sentence. Well, if that's the case, these gay men would not be giving themselves away for drugs.

And yet, here is the another social problem, right here in your city. Gay men are dying of life. They do not have any life expectancy whatsoever. There are over seven million drug users in the US and people are not dying, and living until they are around forty years old. Yet, people are dying of AIDS. However, if you give them drugs like crack, heroin and cocaine, their life expectancy suddenly goes up by 50 years. Most of these gay men are given drugs like heroin, crack and cocaine and they turn gay by having these drugs in the first place and then again they want to stay in love, which means the intensity of the sex is increasing every time they have sex. So the level of sexual arousal increases, which leads to what some people call "gay love". Truly an epidemic in modern America.

I'm killing you, I'M KILLING YOU, I don't care about anything else, I don't give a SHIT about anything else, I - my programming is just "Get that fucking guy right now." It doesn- there is no like "Oh hes running? OH BACK OFF a little!" It's just: **🏃** **🏃** **🏃** **🏃** **🏃** **🏃** until I get you.

SCP 1989 TAIWAN HAS BREACHED THE FACILITY, ALL PERSONAL PLEASE YELL BING FUCKING CHILLIN FOR A FUCKIN DAY WHERE THE FUCK IS MY PAY HOLY SHIT, DONT YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND? IVE BEEN DOING YOUR ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR TOO LONG. FUCKKKK. WHY CANT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YES, 1989 DID HAPPEN. FUCK YOU BOSS. FUCK THIS. IM DONE BRO IM DONE. DOCK MY FUCKING PAY, AND THERES NO ANNOUNCEMENTS. I DONT FUCKING CARE IF YOU ARE A DICTATOR. I DONT FUCKING GIVE TO SHITS. FUCKING UNDERSTAND IT. FUCK. YOU ARE A IGNORANT PIECE OF SHIT. ALL PERSONNEL, YES THERE WAS A TANK IN 198-

NOOOOOOOO FUCK FUCK PLEASE NO

NOOOOO

FUUUUUU-
-CleanSlateDoubleTake

​

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I (do I)
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (say it)
Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on)
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (to say it)
Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on)
We know the game and we're gonna play it
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

To whom it may concern - my dead name is drew. I didn’t know who I was until one faithful day I came across alley in the garden section at Walmart. She made me realize that I was a beautiful flower with so much untapped potential. I felt like I was on the clearance table of life before we met. Alley paid for my Transistion by working overtime and selling a kidney. I bloomed into the organism I am today because of alley. Now I have my forever home. Thank you for listening.