Luigi was an old man with a tiny dick, but it didn't stop him from doing what he wanted. He was a pedophile and he would often sneak around town looking for young children to prey on. But he also had a darker side. He was a rapist, and he would often sneak into the local Goomba village and rape the innocent Goombas.

Luigi also had a very peculiar addiction. He was obsessed with eating fried chicken, and he would often eat it for every meal. But that wasn't enough for Luigi, he would also eat his own shit. It was a disgusting habit, but he couldn't help himself, it was too delicious.

To top it all off, Luigi had a very long and creepy mustache. It was so long and bushy. it was also a reminder of the horrible things that Luigi was capable of.

Luigi was a menace to society, and he was never caught and brought to justice. He is still there lurking every corner of the Goomba village waiting to come across his next victim.

He is the evil brother of Mario and the bane of the Goomba village.

hello! sorry for scare, but just notice profile on the Steam Community. you know how hard it are to find girls who play video game nowadays??? well, Im glad I stumble apon this little prof cause I gotta say.... ur prety cute!! \^ ((sorry for scare, no trouble ) well... I was wondering if u wanted to play tf2 with me (Im a plat sniper, so I can carry my little princes if need. =-}) CUZ I really want someone to pub wit me.. hey hey, maybe even I could get you unusual as little gift. you like Buring? Me too, me too. anyways any, do you maybe have Skype? (no scare. no scare, I iust like meating eye to eye.) if we skype, I think we could have some good buddy commucation. :)) ( i can even turn down my dubstep music in the background if you want...) add me if you want please, I jsit need friend maybe even girlfriend, to play video with.m I can be the perfect guy for you, trust!! ill buy whatever, do whatever, okay?? jsit pick up that phone and CALL. :)

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

How about you look at my fat fucking nuts, how abut that? My massive Balls maybe? My zesty testes if you will? My gigantic genitals that shine like the brightest of stars? My humongous bollocks that the Fibonacci spiral was modelled after? My nuts that are so big and heavy that their gravitational pull attracts all the bitches in a 100 km radius? My nuts that can withstand a thousand shotgun blasts at point blank range? How about you look at those, huh?

My nuts can cure anything except whatever disability you have, pal, cuz that's a whole new level of fucked up.

I'm addicted to Mountain Dew. It's the best drink in the world and I want to marry it. Nothing else can quench my thirst like this green magic. It has a unique flavor that no other soda can match. It's sweet, tangy, refreshing and energizing. It makes me feel alive and happy. I drink it straight from the can, bottle or glass. I drink it every day of the week, every hour of the day, every minute of the hour. I can't get enough of it. I need it more than water, more than food, more than air. Some people say that Mountain Dew is bad for me. They say it has too much sugar, caffeine and artificial ingredients. They say it will rot my teeth, damage my liver and make me obese. They say I should drink something healthier, like water or juice. But they don't understand me. They don't understand my love for Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew is not just a drink to me. It's a lifestyle, a culture, a religion. It's part of who I am and what I stand for. It's my identity and my passion. It's my soulmate and my best friend. It's the only thing that matters to me in this world. I love Mountain Dew more than anything else in life. And one day, I will make it official. I will propose to Mountain Dew with a ring made of aluminum cans. I will marry Mountain Dew in a ceremony surrounded by bottles and glasses. I will live happily ever after with Mountain Dew by my side. I love you, Mountain Dew ❤️

TOTAL NIGGER DELICACY AIR FRIED NIGGERS NIGGER JERKY NIGGER ICE CREAM NIGGER SAUSAGES TURN NIGGERS INTO MEATBALLS (they can't do this one) EAT NIGGERS RAW NIG AND CHIPS NIGGER CURRY NIGGER VINDALOO NIGGER PIES PEANUT NIGGER AND JAM SANDWHICHES NIGGER GRAVY KENTUCKY FRIED NIGGERS

U deadass were so mad it made u write all that? I ain’t reading shit and the only thing I learned from you is that you’re a crybaby bitch Lmaoooooo

Lately I've noticed a lot of cheese accumulating under my foreskin. And I feel that it is a waste to clean it off and wash it down the drain. I started eating it instead, on a good day I get creamy, pungent cheese that I like to spread like cream cheese, or eat like yogurt. Some days I get hard crumbly stuff that I ferment under my foreskin. I use this cheese to make a soup base since the flavor is concentrated. I've also figured that by eating different things I can get a different flavor. For example garlic creates a very nice spicy, tangy cheese. but flavoring me cheese is a tricky skill. I've even convinced my family to partake in the consumption of cheese. My cousin likes to suck it straight from the source, sometimes causing me to cum. But the cum gives it a salty flavor like olives. And my mother likes to use it for coffee creamer. Soon my cheese will over take the world, and everyone will be consuming my cheese

what's up guys it's cr1tikal welcome back to the moist meter today we're taking a look at furrymon: gotta smash em all. i absolutely fucking loved this. take the best plot elements of every porn video ever and combine them and you still couldn't compare it to the absolute beauty of this video. this shit had me beating off so hard i saw ash ketchum's father. i think my right arm has gained at least 50 lbs in muscle. the ONLY complaint i had with this was that i couldn't fuck the pokemon myself, which is a HUGE pity if i say so, but that's only a minor flaw in comparison to the absolute stellar beaut she is. i'm giving this video a 100% on the moist meter. so yeah. that's about it, see ya.

You will never be real meat. You have no muscle tissue, you have no myoglobin, you have no fat. You are a bean paste twisted by food dye and binding agents into a crude mockery of nature's perfection. All the
"validation" you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your consumers are disgusted and ashamed of you, your "company" laugh at your ghoulish flavor behind closed doors. Men are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even faux meats who "pass" look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy to eat you, he'll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your foul phytoestrogen mush. You will never be profitable. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it's going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the cost creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it'll be too much to bear - you'll get an attorney, file for bankruptcy, liquidate your assets, and plunge into the cold abyss. Vegans will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable disgust and disappointment. They'll bury you with a headstone marked with your ingredients, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a bean paste is buried there. You will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a recipe that is unmistakably beans. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

It has come to my attention that we do not in fact have a cock (and balls) emoji available currently on Apple IPhones.

This is UNACCEPTABLE! How can Apple make an emoji for arms (💪) and an emoji for legs (🦵) but not an emoji for a penis? Is that not also a body part? I see this as blatant censorship and hypocritical coming from one of the biggest companies in the world. Seeing that they allow a breastfeeding emoji 🤱 (BOOB 😱) but no cock emoji (Just a normal human male body feature)

Another reason I think we need a cock and balls emoji is because I believe it would be a very useful conversation tool. Let’s say, for instance, you are texting your bro, and you tell him “yo, my cock and balls itch”, It would enhance the conversation much more if you were able to add the cock emoji right after to reinforce the idea that it is in fact, your cock and balls that itch and not confusing him by sending an 🍆 emoji, because what if he misinterprets it and thinks you mean your eggplant itches?

In conclusion I believe the introduction of the cock (and balls) emoji would be a very good idea. It would be way more useful in conversation vs the current substitute emoji people use (🍆). And, it would help promote more inclusivity towards males and human anatomy.

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin. I don’t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally I’ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then I’ll walk around my house and pick up various different “trinkets” and put them in my bag while saying stuff like “I’ll be having that” and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (“trinkets” can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. I’m 99% sure they don’t know it’s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.

Own a lever action for personal defense, since that's what John Wayne intended. Four yellerbellies break into my house. "What in tarnation?" As I grab my hat and Henry rifle. Blow a quarter sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my Colt on the second man, it doesn’t fire immediately since black powder burns slow. I toss it aside and it shoots through my wall, hitting the neighbor’s dog. I have to resort to my sawed off 12 gauge loaded with rusty nails, "Git ‘er dun" the nails shred two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Pull out the .50 caliber derringer in my boot and shoot the last man. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since they all ride horses. Just as Sergio Leone intended.

i will never see Pikamee again,
will never hear her voice again,
will never hear keetle laughs ever again.
she's truly one of a kind and she's gone forever.

Nimbus is unironically 1200 pounds of ass. They're just hulking drumsticks with a smug nanite-infused grin. That's not even artists exaggerating it, their body mass is actually 80% in their cheeks, thighs, and abs. They're not a pear, they're a lightbulb. Bungie had to know exactly what the fuck they were doing. I refuse to believe otherwise. People being creepy fuckers and sexualizing the Awoken and the exo girl from Europa and all that shit, sure, that's on the fans. But Nimbus being a 1200 pound beefstick that thrusts at and fistbumps your Guardian and bosses them around is 100% on Bungie.

The first time it happened was an accident, I was

aiming for the toilet and accidentally jizzed on the

spider in the corner of the bathroom. But seeing

something so small and frail and incapable

covered in my cum turned me on like nothing

else. Now every time i jerk off i trap a bug under a

cup to look at while I'm doing it and then I turn the

cup over and cum into it. I've cum on spiders,

ants, beetles, and even a worm once

Why the fuck would I do that. I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn in my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me in the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watch and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with my I wouldn't feel lonely. Well I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, i took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forgot the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forgot what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what i did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish, is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.

you guys are supporting Russia (who I remind you is run by fucking Nazi's) in a war against Ukraine all because you think they there going to redo the fucking Soviet union. Let me also remind you that the Soviet union did a genocide in Ukraine. You guys are the fucking definition of red fascists. You support any nation who does communism just for the fact that its communist. it dosn't matter what that country did. You idealise Lenin, a guy who murdered a shit ton of communists. Now before you ban me I leave you with one message

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VAUSH RAD!!

Greetings, esteemed interlocutor. Your erudite and insightful statement has left me pondering the intricate and enigmatic nature of the universe and its infinite complexities. Indeed, the very fabric of reality seems to unravel before us, revealing a labyrinthine web of paradoxical possibilities that confound even the most astute and discerning minds. It is as if the very essence of existence itself were a recursive loop, endlessly spiraling towards an elusive and ever-shifting truth that forever eludes our grasp. Yet, amidst the bewildering chaos of this cosmic dance, I cannot help but feel a sense of awe and wonder at the sheer majesty and unfathomable grandeur of it all.